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| Saint Nicked From the Page 2 mailbag | ||
We couldn't figure out why some thug was roughing up Santa -- or what Mr. Claus was doing out on an NFL playing field -- so we asked for your help to explain this week's Page 2 Mystery Photo.
Once again proving that anyone can get past Green Bay's linebackers ... Brian Stewart Sarasota, Fla. Never one to miss a shot at the spotlight, Vince McMahon gives us a taste of what could have been if the XFL were still around for the holidays. David Burger Springdale, Ark. "But Carmen Policy told me I could run around drunk on the field!" Darren Rasmussen Northfield, Minn. North Pole kicker Santa Gramatica pulls a hamstring after making a field goal to cut the Green Bay lead to 47 points. Richard Trionfo Altamonte Springs, Fla. "Will somebody get coach Fisher, please? The Titans' third-string QB got into the executive suite liquor cabinet again and is claiming he can 'give' the team some wins." Joe Danvers, Mass. "All right, Santa -- listen up! I want a first-round bye for Christmas or Mrs. Claus will be opening your ketchup bottles for you." Derrick Dallas "Listen to me, jackass, my son is getting an X-Box or I'll get Gilbert Brown to sit on your head." Paul Garvey Brigantine, N.J. Still bitter about losing his starting job to Brett Favre nine years ago, a crazed Don Majkowski runs onto the field during the Packers-Titans game on Sunday. Jon Savidusky Madison, Wis. "That's not the type of Claus I was looking for in my new contract" Patty O'Shea Boston Mr. Van Gundy, would you please let go of my leg ... and no, I'm not Alonzo Mourning! Ken Minott Topsham, Maine "I don't care who you are, buddy. No one is going to give the Lions back-to-back wins." Aaron Wood Seattle Yeah, that's right, I saw you kissing my mom all those years ago, you bastard! Amy Chiasson Baton Rouge, La. Eagles fans, upset that Browns faithful had stolen their thunder as harshest sports fans, reclaim their identity by throwing Santa Claus out of the stands. Boyce Garrison Vista, Calif. "DUDE!?! OUCH!! Little help over here? Santa's got ahold of my ... uh ... cheesehead! Ian L. Lockport, NY Next time on "When Santas Attack": George O'Leary is forcibly removed from the field when Lambeau security personnel discover that he used a false North Pole address on his Santa Claus application and that he doesn't really own any flying reindeer. Kirby Whalen Avon, Conn. " ... and tell Favre he doesn't know what pressure is! All he's gotta do is score a TD in the next minute ... I gotta find and deliver two million X-Boxes by Tuesday!" Kev E. Long Island, N.Y. Going for the World Record in the Santa Claus Dead Lift event. Vinson Houston "But sir, I have to take Brett Favre ... he's on Tony Dungy's Christmas list." Ryan Rutherford Bloomfield, N.J. Green Bay somehow missed the point of the Holidays in their "Beat the Crap out of Santa" halftime promotion. But for one fan, it was the best Christmas ever. Greg Kanyicska Tallahassee, Fla. When it was discovered that Santa Claus was actually Tim Allen, stadium officials passed out glass bottles for the fans to throw. Proctor Olan Charleston, S.C. A TV commercial gone awry: A disgruntled production assistant vents his anger during a recent shoot, attacking the Santa-clad actor as he attempts to bring Antonio Freeman his Chunky Soup. Chris Lopez Washington He had a long white beard, and a little round belly, that shook when he was tackled by a guard named Nelly. Matt Moldovan Atlanta "Roger, that's a negative. The parachute did not open. Repeat, the parachute did NOT open!" Jarama Lateef Washington And here is the real caption from The Associated Press: Green Bay Packers linebacker Na'il Diggs, right, watches as a police officer tackles a fan dressed as Santa in the fourth quarter at the Tennessee Titans' game against the Packers on Sunday, Dec. 16, 2001 in Nashville, Tenn. The fan was removed from the field and the Titans went on to upset the Packers 26-20. (AP Photo/Mark Humphrey) |
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