What the heck was the Pittsburgh Pirates' Randall Simon thinking when he swung a bat and hit the head of the Italian sausage during the sausage race at Milwaukee's Miller Park recently?

	I think it's safe to say that Mr. Simon doesn't dig on swine.

A. "It's about time this race had a knockwurst."

B. "How about a little credit for being such a good contact hitter? That's a tougher moving target than anything the Brewers' pitchers have been throwing."

C. "I thought this was 'Kill It and Grill It' Night."

D. "The San Diego Chicken is my main man, and I won't let anybody steal his thunder."

E. "I had the hot dog, and offerred the sausage an opportunity to take a dive for a modest payout. It didn't listen."

F. "I heard a drunk fan behind me say he was going to hit the head, so I figured I'd do the same."