What the heck was Deion Sanders thinking when he claimed he didn't pay all of his car mechanic's $4,265 bill because Jesus had told him to only pay $1,500? (A judge ruled in favor of Deion, who said, "Praise Jesus! I've followed in my heart what I'm told to pay.")

	Let's hope Jesus didn't make you pay a lot for that suit.

A. "I'm talking about Jesus Rodriguez, my State Farm agent. According to Jesus, my deductible is $1,500. Anything above that, I'm not responsible for."

B."Now, who wants to celebrate with a seven-course meal over at Spago, where Jesus tells me I should only pay $10?"

C. "Oh, by the way. Jesus says you owe me fifty bucks."

D. "What's that, oh Lord? My attorney is a tool of Satan and shall not be paid? You got it."

E. "Jesus also told me not to tackle anybody all those years."

F. "Forget Geiko. One call to Jesus can save you 75 percent on your car bills."