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I've got it! From the Page 2 mailbag | ||||
Don't you hate going to a ballgame and ending up stuck sitting beside some clown? Well, you're obviously not alone.
 "I know son, I know, you've told me before that you don't want to go into the family business. But if you'd just trade in your cleats for some clown shoes you'd make you momma so proud. And then you and me and the whole family can go on vacation in a car this big. Everyone loves a clown Javy, c'mon!" Keith Caudle Augusta, Ga. "Man, I guess when we traded John Rocker, we should have told him to take his family with him." Jeff J. Snider Provo, Utah After some serious brainstorming, Bill Buckner figures out a way to make his return to Fenway. Peter Los Angeles Javy! Long time no see. Remember me from your 6th Birthday party? Matt Wyoming, Mich. "Hey Javy, if you rub my lucky schnoz you and the Braves will win the series ... too bad this fence is in the way ... oh yeah, and so are those guys from Seattle!" William Tribendis Phoenixville, Pa. A cruel Phillies fan takes advantage of Javy Lopez's peculiar phobia. Jon Bartov Haifa, Israel Who says umpires don't work hard to get in position for a call? Sergio Navarro Tallahassee, Fla. Although onlookers seemed unimpressed, Ronald McDonald was overjoyed that he could still make anything requested just by blowing up a couple of colored balloons and giving them a few twists. The only comment from the disappointed crowd on this lifesized replica of Javy Lopez in action was, "The boy asked for the Hamburglar, and you make some ball player." Jeff Kirkner Munroe Falls, Ohio (In best Pesci voice) "I'm funny Javy? Funny how? Do I amuse you? How am I funny? How the *&$%@ am I funny? Am I funny like a clown Jav, huh?" Tom X Englishtown, N.J. In the sequel to Stephens King's "It", The killer clown has been hired by the Red Sox in an attempt to torment opposing teams and lift the curse of Boston futility. Chris Colwell Aurora, Ill. "Mom! I told you to never come watch me at work!" Andrew Brand Tulsa, Okla. A fan shows off the new Christina Aguilera makeup kit to Javy. Scott Philadelphia Even though he is now preoccupied with AOL-Time Warner, previous Braves owner Ted Turner still makes it out to the ballpark now and then... Craig Bisher Atlanta Boston fans are familiar superstitions, so they simply wrote off Javy Lopez's pregame blessing from Bozo as a National League thing. Don Paul Martin Brooklyn, N.Y. Javy Lopez demonstrates the intricacies of the "Infield Clown Rule." Scott Billie Chester, Va. Unfortunately, umpires saw right through Jimy Williams' disguise when he tried to sneak back into the park after being tossed. Alan MacNeill Petersburg, Va. "Down in front Bozo" Doug Bailey Hollis, N.H. "Hey Javy! Remember us here in Boston? We're the clowns who choke every post season." Jeffrey DeBeech New York. "Accidentally" forgetting to change his clothes from his day job, Bud Selig enjoys the Braves-Sox game in peace. Bill Warren Newark, Del.  Send this story to a friend | Most sent stories |
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