| | | Hey kids! Confused by the NFL's realignment plan? Don't worry, thanks to Cap'n Jimmy and his magic telestrator, even Bill Bidwill can understand where everyone is moving!
KEY
 | | | Randy Moss |
Vikings (V) run out-pattern into waiting moving van to take them to San Antonio. Randy Moss (RM) sneaks out the door and leaves to play with Pennsylvania ValleyDawgs.
Seattle (S) runs into clubhouse, changes uniforms and returns to field as open receiver for NFC West.
|  | | Dan Snyder |
Upset about losing the coin flip, an enraged Dan Snyder (D) leaves the Washington owners box, fires coach Marty Schottenheimer, names himself interim player-coach and inserts himself at wide receiver. He is immediately flagged for being offsides.
Atlanta (A), Carolina (C) and New Orleans (N) lead sweep from NFC West to NFC South.
Washington (W), New York (NY), Philadelphia (Ph) do nothing.
|  | | Al Davis |
Al Davis (AD) leads NFL on wild goose chase, then takes them to court and sues their butt.
Baltimore (B), Cincinnati (C), Cleveland (Cl) and Pittsburgh (P) shift to AFC North.
Indianapolis [I], Jacksonville [J] and Tennessee [T] pirouette and shift to the AFC South.
Houston [H] gets sent in from the bench to join the AFC South.
|  | | Deion Sanders |
Deion Sanders (DS) runs off field and signs with the Cincinnati Reds.
Troy Aikman (TA) takes the snap, then forgets where he is and wanders off the field looking for his car keys.
Emmitt Smith (E) waits ... and waits ... and waits ...
 | | | Emmitt Smith |
Barry Sanders (BS) leaves the field to hop a plane to London so he can retire and film some very bad commercials.
Vince McMahon (upper left) attempts to run onto field, but is stopped cold by terrible TV ratings.
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