| | | While ESPN.com elsewhere examines the intricacies and controversies of the major-league All-Star vote, Page 2 ponders how other institutions might fare if they used baseball's All-Star voting procedures ...
The Academy Awards
|  | | Thanks to fan voting, Tom Hanks won his ninth consecutive Oscar. |
STEVE MARTIN: Our final award tonight will be presented by two stars separated by more than 70 years. But enough about Michael Douglas and
Catherine Zeta-Jones. ... Ladies and gentlemen, it's my distinct pleasure to introduce Katharine Hepburn and Haley Joel Osment.
[THE TWO ENTER AND TAKE THE PODIUM]
OSMENT: Gee, Ms. Hepburn. I'm sure glad I'm not seeing dead people when I look at you.
[HEPBURN STARES BLINDLY INTO SPACE]
OSMENT: I mean, you sure look swell for someone your age, Ms. Hepburn. And I hope I look half as good and have half as many Oscars when I'm your age.
[HEPBURN STARES BLINDLY INTO SPACE]
OSMENT: By the way, who are you wearing? Vera Wang?
[HEPBURN CONTINUES STARING AHEAD]
OSMENT: Ummmm, are you all right, Ms. Hepburn?
HEPBURN [SUDDENLY SHOUTING AT NO ONE IN PARTICULAR]: Look, Norman! The loons! The loons have come back! The loons are singing!
[MEDICS RUSH ONTO THE STAGE. WHILE THEY ATTEND TO HEPBURN, MARTIN PADS FOR TIME]
MARTIN: Well, while we're waiting for Ms. Hepburn, let's review the awards presented earlier tonight.
Although critics thought this would be the year someone finally knocked off Tom Hanks -- perhaps Russell Crowe for "Gladiator" -- movie fans proved them wrong again by voting Hanks to his ninth consecutive best actor award. Meryl Streep won her 10th Best Actress award in 12 years, and Steven Spielberg won his 10th consecutive best director award, even though he didn't direct a movie this year. Or last year, come to think of it.
|  | | No surprise in the Best Picture race: "Caddyshack" wins again. |
Ahhh! It looks like Ms. Hepburn is ready to resume, so let's return to our presenters ...
[HEPBURN STARES INTO THE AUDIENCE WHILE OSMENT TEARS OPEN THE ENVELOPE]
OSMENT: And the Oscar for the year's Best Picture goes to ... "Caddyshack"! For the 21st consecutive year! Accepting the award is 20-time best supporting actor, Bill Murray ...
The Miss America Pageant
[AS MISS AMERICA TAKES HER TRIUMPHANT STROLL AT THE SHOW'S CONCLUSION, PAGEANT HOSTS DONNY AND MARIE OFFER A FEW PARTING WORDS ...]
MARIE OSMOND: Well, it's another crown for Miss California, Cheryl Lee Malibu, who deservedly continues her reign as Miss America.
DONNY OSMOND: I'm sorry, but Miss Mississippi was robbed. She scored higher in the swimsuit and evening gown competitions, was voted Miss Congeniality for her wholesome personality and brought the audience to its feet with her stupendous rendition of "Slim Shady." It's a disgrace that Miss California wins year after year, just because California has the most people and stuffs the ballot box.
MARIE: No, it's not, Donny. California can't swing the election by itself. The voters nationwide simply want a contestant with a proven track record. They aren't impressed by a new face who has had a couple of good months. Yes, Miss Mississippi looked great tonight, but the voters want to know whether she will still be pretty next year, too. Miss California, meanwhile, has proven herself year after year and remains very popular. To many fans, she symbolizes the Miss America Pageant.
|  | | John McCain's party switch caught voters a little off guard. |
DONNY: But isn't it time for a fresh face? Frankly, Miss California is way past her prime. She isn't even a Miss anymore. She's been married and divorced twice, her hair is gray and her figure just isn't what it was since she had her fifth child. ...
The Presidential Election
PETER JENNINGS: As midnight passes here on the East Coast and with 67 percent of the counting done, the presidential election is still too close to call. For a closer look at what it all means, here's ABC political analyst Jeff Greenfield.
GREENFIELD: Peter, the vote has been extremely close in many states and is further complicated by several significant changes in electoral procedure brought on by the controversial 2000 election.
JENNINGS: Could you recap those changes for our viewers?
GREENFIELD: Certainly. First, in an attempt to battle voter apathy, citizens were allowed to use the Internet to vote up to 25 times.
Secondly, Congress expanded the vote to foreign countries this year, distributing ballots to residents of such countries as Japan, the Dominican Republic, Uzbekistan, Thailand, Australia and France.
Both changes succeeded -- we are seeing record vote totals tonight, though we might not receive the final shipment of votes from Moravia for two years.
|  | | Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States. |
JENNINGS: So, all in all, the changes have been good?
GREENFIELD: Not quite, Peter. A third change has been disastrous. In an effort to cut election costs, each party had to put its candidate on the official ballot before the campaign season started, and no changes were allowed. That has led to some awkward situations.
For example, John McCain is still listed as the Republican candidate, even though he switched to the Democratic Party in March. And George W. Bush is relying on write-in votes for his re-election campaign, which is undoubtedly hurting him in many precincts. Meanwhile, Rep. Dick Gephardt won the Democratic primary in a landslide, but he isn't on the ballot; Bill Bradley is. And the Independent Party is stuck with a Ross Perot ticket even though he gave up politics two years ago to co-host "Larry King Live." So it's quite a mess.
JENNINGS: Would you care to predict a winner?
GREENFIELD: Based on historic trends, exit polling, the current electoral count and Mariners attendance in Seattle, I think the winner is pretty clear.
Peter, how does President Ichiro sound to you?
Jim Caple is a senior writer for ESPN.com. Send this story to a friend | Most sent stories
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