PARIS -- Andre Agassi has been playing tennis for so long now, scraped so much dirt off his shoes and shorts and hair -- oops, well, he used to have hair. Just like he used to be that easily-mocked figure of All-Image, No-Insight -- and discovered so much about the game that Double A seems to have turned into Professor Racquet right before our eyes.

Following his less-than-harrowing five-set victory over Franco Squillari (no relation to Volare, nor even to Dominico Modugno, who sang it) in the quarterfinals of the French Open on Monday, Agassi held forth on FH's and BH's -- forehands and backhands -- strategy, tactics, "body blows and the craftiness points" and a little history of the game as if he were addressing some clinic on Hilton Head Island or somewhere.

"I've never heard a player go into such depth about the inner workings of a match," said Bud Collins, the sport's venerable Boswell, who may himself have invented fuzz on the ball. "I don't know if he's soaked this all up from [his coach] Brad Gilbert or if he's figured it out for himself. Probably the latter."

Probably, that didn't matter to Squillari, who's not only not from Italy but hardly a squirrel on the clay of Roland Garros. The 6-footer from Buenos Aires is, in fact, a disciple of the great Argentine, Guillermo Vilas -- a 25-year-old bruiser with a monster forehand who made the semifinals here last year and is the only lefthander in the top 20 (currently 16th in the ATP rankings). When Agassi slipped and fell hard just before Squillari absolutely squished three aces past him in the last game of the fourth set for a 6-1 finish, things didn't look especially favorable to the American.

But Agassi picked himself up, dusted his shining dome off, waddled to his favorite tar pit on the baseline and proceeded to drive his opponent off the court, bageling him and winning 4-6, 6-2, 6-4, 1-6, 6-0. It may be a TV addict's imagination, but as the 31-year-old from Las Vegas kicks, rears, takes names and threatens to win the Grand Slam and gets in better and better shape -- doesn't he smile, move and even look more and more like Homer Simpson?

Squillari was in no mood for cartoons. "His energy took me by surprise," said the loser. "[Andre] is remarkable, the way he continues to fight. He always feels he's going to win, that's the impression he gives, that he won't crumble. Even in the fourth set, he continued on -- like he was winning! I must learn from him."

Here's the first course, Franco:

"[Squillari's] got a big forehand," Agassi said. "so my goal was to get to his backhand because I just didn't quite believe that shot would hold up. I think the best pattern for him is his forehand to my backhand. The best pattern for me was my forehand to his backhand. Now it boils down to who's going to dictate play? Who is going to get more looks at that pattern?

"Because I can take the ball early, I can work different heights and depths," the Professor continued. "You just hope you execute well when those opportunities come ... Any match-up, you look at what the meat and potatoes are going to be. You look at what one guy is trying to do, what is the other guy trying to do. You pull out the points that kind of establish both of them trying to pull it off."

Some brilliant numerologist from French television pointed out to Agassi that he had run over 3,600 meters in the match. Is that correct, Andre?

"I'll tell you what's not correct about that," Agassi laughed. "I didn't run. I sprinted. You know, I'd be guessing, but that seems low. I would have said more like 3.7 miles as opposed to K's."

Actually, according to the folks at Canal Plus, Agassi forced Squillari to run over 5,000 meters during their nearly three hours on court. (And that's only 3.1 miles.) So Agassi needs to go back to college, uh, high school, for some remedial math if he wants to pursue this professorship deal.

But there's nothing wrong with the Australian Open champ's memory. Agassi lost in the championship round here in 1990 and 1991, both when he was heavily favored, and as an 18-year-old he was embarrassed in the semis in '88 by Mats Wilander, losing a fifth set, 0-6.

"That day I had four break points in the first game of the fifth set. I just spent everything I had. I was dead. I was starting to cramp. I had no more energy left. I knew [my] 5'11", 145 pounds" -- most of that his fabulous, multi-colored, eagle's-nest hair job -- "wasn't going to win a Slam. It was the kind of match that taught me I really needed to get stronger and make myself able to play for five sets the way I [usually] play the game, because it's physical."

Recalling his terrific comeback championship here in 1999 when he opened by beating ... you guessed it, Squillari, Agassi on Monday was lifted by the Roland Garros crowd, who displayed their usual profuse admiration, chanting "An ... Dre! An ... Dre!" Of course, the French love snails and Jerry Lewis, too.

"I show up at these places and you never know when is the last time [I'm] going to be here," he said. "It's special ... Here in Paris, it's been a long time I've gotten support. Losing two finals, being favored, there was always something that felt missing in my career. Somehow, I always got the feeling something was missing for the French people not to see me finally do it after so many years. Then when I did, I feel it just kind of elevated the romance of it all."

In the quarterfinals, Double A's fan support may be a bit muted inasmuch as his opponent will be Sebastian Grosjean, 23, the dangerous 10th-seed from Marseilles who would have played Agassi in the Australian final if he hadn't blown a two-set lead and lost to his countryman, Arnaud Clement.

"I'm going to do my best to not hear anything out there," said Agassi.

Not even Nel blu dipinto di blu.

Curry Kirkpatrick, a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine, first covered the French Open in 1976. E-mail him at curry.kirkpatrick@espnmag.com.