Arnold Schwarzenegger for governor of California? Oh my. The Republican from Hollywood announced his intention to seek election on Wednesday's "Tonight Show with Jay Leno," joining a cast of hundreds of candidates hoping to replace Gray Davis in the recall election this October.

The Austrian-born actor has little political training, but a lack of experience didn't stop him from making a smooth transition from bodybuilding to the big screen. At least he's sticking with fields in which appearance is everything.

And like another Hollywood celebrity who kept his political intentions ambiguous through phrases like "It's morning in America," Schwarzenegger, 56, won't want to risk offending voters with detailed policy statements while campaigning. With a résumé of more than 30 movies, there's no shortage of potential slogans already at hand.

But Schwarzenegger isn't Hollywood's lone representative in the race -- nor it's only "Arnold." Gary Coleman -- a k a "Arnold Jackson" from the 1970s sitcom "Diff'rent Strokes" -- has also filed the necessary paperwork to appear on the ballot. Sponsored by a Bay Area newspaper, Coleman has a catchphrase of his own, and hasn't been afraid to use it since leaving the air. Coleman thinks Schwarzenegger is a lock to win the election and doesn't plan to campaign, but that doesn't mean the diminutive actor can't play a role in the race. As a service to the voters of California, Coleman is ready to shed some light on Schwarzenegger's intentions by asking the question on every voter's mind.

	We've always believed politicians should ditch the white shirt and tie for the leather jacket.

Campaign Slogan: "I'll be back." ("Terminator")

Coleman: Whatchu talkin' 'bout?

What Arnold really means: With the economy in tatters, smog returning to the Los Angeles basin, programmers coding for food in Silicon Valley and the Dodgers fading out of contention, Californians need stability. That's why Schwarzenegger will trumpet an aversion to term limits as evidence that he's not interested in seeking higher office. Then again, the slogan could refer to Schwarzenegger's focus on the job should someone throw a few hundred million dollars at him to make "Terminator 4" while he's in office.

Campaign Slogan: "Could I speak to the drug dealer of the house, please?" ("Last Action Hero")

Coleman: Whatchu talkin' 'bout?

What Arnold really means: He's a Republican, but he's a California Republican. And that means it's time to end the war on drugs. Schwarzenegger's slogan is symbolic of a policy of reconciliation with the booming drug trade in the Golden State. The new administration would attempt to manage the issue through diplomacy, setting up a blue-ribbon panel of medical experts, law enforcement officials, counselors, dealers, pushers, runners, junkies, Columbian drug lords and Robert Downey Jr. Besides, wiping out the drug trade at a time when California's economy is already in such disarray could cause a panic. The loss of jobs in the rehab industry alone could spark a state-wide depression.

	Rumor has it Arnold will pick Lou Ferrigno as his running mate.

Campaign Slogan: "Stop Whining! You kids are soft. You lack discipline. Well I've got news for you, you are mine now! You belong to me!" ("Kindergarten Cop")

Coleman: Whatchu talkin' 'bout?

What Arnold really means: Since kids wouldn't be eligible to sign a recall petition, Schwarzenegger can break out the tough love he experienced growing up in Austria's Teutonic education system. What better way to instill discipline in a culture of slackers than through rigorous physical training. Some concessions will need to be made in the physical sciences, math, arts and literature, but California voters can rest assured that a vote for Arnold is a vote for better scores on tests for The President's Council for Physical Fitness.

Campaign Slogan: "What's the matter? The CIA got you pushing too many pencils?" ("Predator")

Coleman: Whatchu talkin' 'bout?

What Arnold really means: With more candidates on the ballot than fans at a Padres game, every vote counts. That's why Schwarzenegger needs to court the lunatic fringe -- in this case not the same thing as the base of the Republican Party. And with a cinematic history of fighting government conspiracies, alien intrusions and Danny DeVito, he could capture the survivalist vote by suggesting that a few of his opponents -- especially the retired cop who wants to legalize pet ferrets -- are a little too connected to the establishment.

Campaign Slogan: "If you drop your gun now, I promise I won't kill you." ("Predator")

Coleman: Whatchu talkin' 'bout?

What Arnold really means: This slogan could scare gun advocates, but it's time to get tough on crime. Sure, the President can swoop onto an aircraft carrier in a jet and a jumpsuit, but what says getting involved like cruising the streets with a .45 long slide with laser sighting and a phased-plasma rifle in the 40-watt range? Violent criminals beware, the state's controversial three-strikes sentencing guideline is about to lose two strikes. And talk about a solution to gridlock in Sacramento. Will anyone really hold a proverbial gun to the head of one of the governor's pet bills after hearing this campaign promise?

Campaign Slogan: "It's not a tumor!" ("Kindergarten Cop")

Coleman: Whatchu talkin' 'bout?

What Arnold really means: From plastic surgery in Hollywood to retirement homes in the desert, health care is a major issue in California. Schwarzenegger's tough no-nonsense approach revolves not around universal coverage, but around universal toughness. Sure, that pounding in your head could be a brain tumor, but more likely it's a headache. And why tax an already overburdened system because you're not tough enough to handle a little pain? Patients will be given government-subsidized coverage when they vist their HMO and are, in fact, found to be suffering from a life-threatening malady. But patients feigning illness will be forced to foot the bill for legitimate patients ... and watch screenings of "Jingle All the Way."

Campaign Slogan: "My team works alone, you know that." ("Predator")

Coleman: Whatchu talkin' 'bout?

What Arnold really means: Forget McCain-Feingold, Schwarzenegger will hammer away at the corruption many Californians feel has run rampant through the Davis administration. But who exactly is Schwarzenegger's team? This is a man who has shared the screen with Tom Arnold, Jamie Lee Curtis and Sinbad. Can he really be trusted to put together a staff of able administrators?

Campaign Slogan: "Hasta la vista, baby." ("Terminator 2")

Coleman: Whatchu talkin' 'bout?

What Arnold really means: It's over. There's no hidden meaning here, it's just the perfect campaign epithet. Like Dukakis in the tank, Hart in Donna Rice's lap or Gore in his "lock box," there's no way Davis recovers when voters hear those four words intoned over a screen shot of the current governor.

Graham Hays writes 'Out of the Box,' the inside scoop on yesterday's box scores, five days a week.