If curiosity kills the cat, and if I were a cat, I wouldn't need nine lives, because I'd never die.

	Would you respond to "Miggy T" if you were Miguel Tejada?

(I'd also never lick myself -- and not just because of the hair ball phenomenon. It's just that the desire to not lick myself is so deeply ingrained in my persona now, that I'm positive I'd carry that sentiment with me into my life as a cat and continue to keep my tongue off my body. It's just who I am, and I'll never change.)

However, back to today's main point: I'm not very curious. Or rather, I'm apathetically curious.

For example: A couple of weeks ago, I was driving at about 3 a.m., which is extremely unusual for me. I noticed the moon was low in the sky, and it was enormous! It had to be at least three times as big as I had ever seen it before, or at least so it appeared. I found myself wondering if it's always that big at 3 a.m., or if it has something to do with the time of year, or if maybe this was some special vernal equinox sort of thing -- except I'm pretty sure that happens in the fall. Unfortunately, I'm convinced I'll never know why the moon hit my eye like a big, white pizza pie -- mainly, because I'm not curious enough to bother to find out.

It's too bad, I think, that my curiosity doesn't get the best of me more often. I've been watching sports for about 30 years now, and there's still so many things I don't know. I don't even know how much I don't know because new things are being revealed to me all the time. I think we all learned the "tuck rule" together. And I recently heard a hockey analyst say that the "center makes things go. Shut him down and the wings can't do anything." I did not know that!

I don't know why hitters get credit for a sacrifice fly, since I'm convinced there's no way the hitter gave up his turn at bat to hit a fly ball to the outfield. And why is it a sacrifice if a guy bunts a runner from second to third, but it's not a sacrifice fly when the runner tags up at second and advances to third?

I don't know if Karl Malone and John Stockton are friends.

I don't know why Fox gives Lisa Guerrero more on-camera lead-ins than I get at ESPNEWS. (All right, I do know why)

	Maple Leafs goalie Curtis Joseph considers the standing-on-your-head tactic.

I wouldn't know a Don Ross course if I tripped on one.

I don't know if Miguel Tejada really goes by "Miggy T," or if that's just something Scott Van Pelt said on SportsCenter one night.

I don't know if anyone has ever been "lowly touted."

I don't know what to make of Robert Fick hitting a game-winning home run the day his sister was buried. I would understand if he chose not to play baseball that day. I could also understand a guy not playing the day his ex-wife was buried, because he could easily pull a hamstring dancing on her grave.

I don't know if anyone even had an ACL until about 10 years ago. Now they rip as easily as the shirt off an angry Bill Bixby.

I don't know why a goaltender making a great save is said to have "stood on his head." First, how could that help? Second, why is that metaphorically inaccurate phrase exclusive to goalies? Pitchers don't stand on their heads. Quarterbacks don't stand on their heads. Wrestlers don't even stand on their heads. They stand on other people's heads.

I don't know why people are so stingy about a flying rat's ass that they won't give one, and it makes me wonder if they'd give a stationary and grounded rat's ass.

I don't know why Shaq is wearing a long, leather coat while playing basketball in his Burger King commercial.

I don't know how badly I'd have to go before I sat down at a port-o-pot.

		I don't know if John Wayne Bobbitt needs to wear a protective cup when he boxes.

I don't know the seven signs of the Apocalypse, but I'm pretty sure the unexplainable popularity of "The Osbournes" is one of them.

I don't know if foreign players who win money in the United States pay taxes here and in their home countries.

I don't know the trading deadline in the WNBA.

I don't know why I don't bring floss to work when there's so many times I could really use it.

I always have to think about how to spell the word "guard." It helps me to actually say, "goo-ard."

When a player runs past home plate without touching it, I don't know why he's not automatically out for being out of the base path. Instead, he jumps around and tries to avoid being tagged by the catcher. I also don't know why the catcher chases him. If he just stood on the plate, the runner would eventually have to come to him and be tagged out.

I don't know the rule on game-winning hits, though I'm pretty sure you can't get one in the first inning.

I don't know why I seem to love everything banana-flavored, but I don't really like bananas.

	As far as Bob Halloran is concerned, the initials of C.C. Sabathia might as well stand for Couldn't Care.

I don't know the differences among being charged, arrested, booked and indicted. And as a sportscaster, this is something I need to know more about.

I don't know the answer to my brother-in-law's question. Fred gives this hypothetical. A starting pitcher is relieved with one out in the ninth inning, but instead of leaving the game, that pitcher goes to another position. The reliever gets the second out (probably a lefty-to-lefty kind of thing), and then the starting pitcher returns to the mound and gets the final out. Does the pitcher get the win and the save? Why don't managers try this? You move Curt Schilling to first when Barry Bonds comes up, and you bring him back to pitch to Jeff Kent. I'm telling you, it could work.

I don't know why The Home Depot thinks it's worth bragging that they have "thousands of faucets to choose from." I'm thinking about five or six would suffice.

I don't know why field goals are measured from the spot of the kick, but punts are measured from the line of scrimmage. It's always bothered me that you have to add 17 to the line of scrimmage to know how far the field goal is.

I didn't know until recently that the hair some guys are growing on their lower lip is called a soul patch. And now I don't know if the soul patch works like a nicotine patch.

I don't know if a tennis player has to hit the ball over the net. If the ball is hit at a really sharp angle, can the player return the ball so that it travels next to the net, but lands "in"?

I'm in two fantasy baseball leagues every year, and I don't know what OPS stands for. I'm told it represents "on base and slugging percentage", but the letters in the acronym don't really fit.

I don't know what the C.C. stands for in C.C. Sabathia.

	Why can't Burt Reynolds' "Longest Yard" tactic be used in basketball?

I don't know if I'm the only person in the world who can't sleep on his side, because I can always hear my ear pulse. And it drives me crazy!

If a basketball player going out of bounds is allowed to throw the ball at an opposing player to try to make it go out off of him, why can't a player just whip the ball at an opposing player whenever he wants. If it's not a technical when the guy's going out of bounds, it shouldn't be a technical at midcourt either. I think it would be great to see a point guard bring the ball up and just fire it at someone the way Burt Reynolds did in "The Longest Yard."

With that in mind, I don't know why a hitter who truly believes he was hit by a pitch doesn't pick up the ball and throw it at the pitcher.

I don't know why I don't read more books, especially when you consider that whenever I see a movie based on a book I've read, I always say: "The book was much better."

I don't know if John Wayne Bobbitt needs to wear a protective cup when he boxes.

I don't know how the NHL survived for so many years without a commissioner, but I know I'd love to see baseball try it.

And finally, I've been trying to remember for about 15 years who sang "Low Rider." I know I saw the band in concert long after it was a popular band, and I know a quick Google search would put my mind at ease, yet I don't do it. I ask the question. I rack my brain. I fidget and I get anxious. I even get peptic. And then I take a nap. I'd like to know the answers to these questions, but they're not keeping me up at night. The ear pulse is.

Bob Halloran is an anchorman for ESPNEWS.