| | | Spring training is upon us, and players and fans alike are flocking to Florida and Arizona. With apologies to the song, "Everyone's Free (to Wear
Sunscreen)," I offer the following advice for everyone heading to spring training ...
|  | | We recommend Don Zimmer with an spf 30 this spring. |
"If I could offer only one tip for spring training, it's to wear sunscreen. The long-term benefits of wearing sunscreen -- your skin will resemble
neither an old Don Zimmer leather glove nor Don Zimmer -- have been proven by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has barely been proofread by my
editors, let alone researched. I will dispense with it now.
"Enjoy the power and beauty of Mark McGwire's swing. Oh, never mind. You will probably be standing in line waiting for a $5 beer and miss his entire at-bat. But trust me, in a couple of weeks you'll be back at the office, boring co-workers with photos and stories of how you came 'this close' to catching one of Big Mac's blasts.
"Don't worry about the Yankees signing Mike Mussina. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as asking Carl Everett to explain the theory of evolution. Besides, the real team to worry about in the American League is
Oakland, especially now that Johnny Damon is in the lineup and Tim Hudson
and Barry Zito are another year older.
"Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're on SportsCenter, sometimes Jim Edmonds is. The season is long, and in the end, the gold glove is going to Vladimir Guerrero.
"Sing 'Take Me out the Ballgame.'
"Keep your ticket stubs. Throw away those team Visa card applications they always try to hand out by the souvenir store.
"Don't feel frustrated if Rick Ankiel can't get his pitches over the plate. Randy Johnson couldn't throw a strike to save his soul at 22. At age 38, Jose Mesa still can't. And besides, they're raising the strike zone this season.
"Be kind to your knees. Tony Gwynn already misses his.
"Maybe Todd Helton will hit .400, maybe he won't. Maybe Sammy Sosa will
break the home run record, maybe he won't. Maybe David Cone will come back to win
20 games, maybe he won't. Whatever happens, enjoy it as much as you can. The Yankees are still going to win the World Series, and after that there's going to be a really long work stoppage. So appreciate this season while you can.
"Next time, stop and get directions before you drive to Angels camp.
"Do not read preview magazines, they will only make you think the Cubs can go to the World Series.
|  | | Enjoy the power and beauty of St. Louis slugger Mark McGwire's swing. |
"David Wells is not as fat as we sportswriters imagine.
"Visit New York City once, but don't sit in the bleachers wearing a Red Sox cap. Visit Northern California once, but be sure you have Giants tickets in advance.
"Travel. But try to get Tom Hicks to meet you at the airport so he can carry your luggage.
"Accept certain inalienable truths. Salaries will rise, Junior is going to complain, Rickey Henderson is going to loaf to first base. And in a couple of decades, Ken Burns will make another documentary and Doris Kearns Goodwin will claim this was baseball's golden age.
"Go see Cal Ripken Jr. play. You'll be sorry when he retires after the season.
"Don't expect George Steinbrenner to share his TV revenue with small-market teams. Don't rely on Donald Fehr agreeing to a salary cap. If you want a
secure financial future, you should have thought about that before trading for Mike Sirotka and the MRI rights to his left shoulder.
"Be careful whose fantasy-league predictions you listen to, be skeptical of those who offer them. Predictions are a form of nostalgia wrapped in tea leaves, spread out like tarot cards and interpreted by sportswriters who can't even get their expense reports to add up correctly. Predicting a sport as unpredictable as baseball is as foolhardy as negotiating with Scott Boras.
"But trust me on the sunscreen."
Jim Caple of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer is a regular contributor to ESPN.com's baseball coverage and Page 2. Send this story to a friend
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