Trendiness is a harsh mistress. One week you're the hot pick to represent the West in the NBA Finals; the next you are building a summer house with your bricks. One week you are Figo, leader of the fashionable Portugal team picked to contend in the World Cup; the next, you are being chanted off the field with the inaccurate "Adios, amigos!" by ecstatic -- yet linguistically challenged -- U.S. fans. (Actually, in Portuguese, the properly pronounced trash talk is "Adeus, amigos.")

Meanwhile, set your alarms for 2:30 a.m. Monday to hop the bandwagon of the hottest Cinderella on the planet, literally: The U.S. men's soccer squad. We yawn because we love.

So now that you've got the scoop on one thing that's totally hip, take a look at the rest of what's hot and what's not this week. Feel free to share with your co-workers, buddies and significant others –- they will really appreciate you for it:

What's Hot, What's Not this week
Category	Hot	Not
Irish Keane	Robbie	Roy
Guys' definition of "Ya-Ya"	Hot new one-name soccer star?	Movie to check out with buddies
Hairdo	Clint Mathis' mohawk	Hedo Turkoglu's "Coiffure de Turnover"
"Outing" controversy	NBA draft status ("in or out?")	Pharmaceutical preference
NBA draft hype	Freddie Jones	Juan Dixon
Hoops Hall of Famer	Harlem Globetrotters	Larry Brown
NHL hiring theory	Can't beat 'em, hire 'em (Trottier to Rangers)	Caps call Trottier; Trottier doesn't return call
Minnesota scoring machine	Twins	Vikings
Ralph Nader	Sticking his nose in the NBA, ruining it	Sticking his nose in the political process, ruining it
Pedro Martinez's sweet spot	Innings 2-9	The first (yikes)
Boxing jurisprudence	Pernell "Sweet 'Key'" Whitaker	Anything from "Iron Mute" Tyson
Fans for visiting teams in South Korea	"Citizen Support Squads" for random teams	No-shows
Celebrity-interview tactic	Take them to a baseball game	Smack competitor with non-microphone hand
Rookie third-baseman	Eric Hinske	Sean Burroughs
Coaching prospect	Major Applewhite	Oh, the UAB staff ...
Interest in France	Soccer vs. Uruguay	The French Open
Philadelphia stadium nickname	"The Linc"	"Nicknames are disrespectful to the memory of Abe Lincoln." (As opposed to using his name for your for-profit company? Save it.)
Lady Byng finalist rep	Clutch goal-scorer	Wuss
Britney Spears vehicle	NASCAR speed racer	"Crossroads" jalopy

A very special What's Hot, What's Not List supplement
The NBA Finals -- "Love It Live ... at least it's on during p.m. hours"

What's Hot, What's Not at the NBA Finals
Category	Hot	Not
New York pastime	Root for the Nets as if you have all your life	Ignoring "that team from New Jersey"
Fire-up-your- teammates fashion	Jerseys of historically great players	Too-cool-for-school sunglasses
Retro Nets player to like	Buck Williams	Micheal Ray Richardson
Benchwarming cheerleader	Donny Marshall	Mark Madsen
Breakout performer	Jason Collins	Samaki Walker
Retro jersey	ABA Nets	Minneapolis Lakers
Nostalgia footage	Byron Scott winning Lakers titles	Nets led by Coleman and Anderson
Under the microscope	Nets' depth in paint	Referee calls
Designated Kobe-stopper	Richard Jefferson	Doug Christie

Dan Shanoff is a columnist for Page 2. His "What's Hot, What's Not" trend-spotting list appears Thursdays. Got inside scoop on an up-and-coming trend? Want to declare something passé? Send this glimpse of your hipness to hotnotlist@yahoo.com.