NEW YORK -- The one team that has to most to gain from the Shaquille O'Neal-Kobe Bryant feud doesn't plan on seeing either traded anytime soon.

	Dirk Nowitzki's sweet shooting touch was definitely missed.

"Why root for something to happen when there's no chance that it will happen?" said Portland's Mike Dunleavy. "It's amazing all the talk about it. But when people start thinking one of them is going to get traded, that's ridiculous. I'd say the chances of that happening are slim and none. Not this season, anyway."

But let's play GM-for-a-day, anyway, and see what teams would try to offer the Lakers if the feud had gotten so ugly that one had to be traded. Even though we're going with a strictly hypothetical situation here -- as Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak put it rather unequivocally, "there will be no discussions about trading anyone, period" -- we're still going to use the present-day salary cap rules as a guidelines.

"As far as getting a fair deal for Shaq," said one Eastern Conference GM, "maybe San Antonio would have the best chance."

That's because the Spurs could offer the Lakers Tim Duncan, who has as many rings as Shaq, is a fixture on the All-NBA first-team roster, and is considered by many pro personnel people the top low-post talent in the game.

Duncan makes $9.7 million, and Shaq is earning $19.2 million, so the Spurs would still have to send the Lakers around $9 million more in players. Avery Johnson makes $8 million. Throw in Danny Ferry, at $1.2 mil, and it would work. If you think Shaq wants to go to San Antonio because he played high school ball there, he considers Newark, N.J., where he grew up, his hometown. And anyway, he has major problems with David Robinson.

	Richmond

	Howard

There's no doubt that if Shaq were ever available, Michael Jordan and the Wizards would make a pitch for the Big Guy. Jordan, nearing the one-year anniversary of his arrival in Washington to run the sad-sack Wiz, has been busy trying to peddle Rod Strickland, Juwan Howard and Mitch Richmond. The Lakers in seasons past had talked of acquiring Howard, who, at $17 mil, makes nearly as much as Shaq. But the Wiz are like a lot of teams. Jordan just doesn't have nearly enough assets to make such a mega-trade work.

Include the Knicks in that large group, too. But Garden CEO Dave Checketts would gladly clear out his entire overpaid roster for the chance of landing O'Neal. In terms of dollar for dollar, the Knicks could offer Allan Houston or Latrell Sprewell, along with Marcus Camby and Kurt Thomas, and match Shaq's salary. Checketts considers Sprewell a great attraction and has been leery of including Spree in any proposed deals for Dikembe Mutombo. But the Knicks haven't hoisted a championship banner in nearly 30 years, and we're talking about the most dominant player in the game today. So as Checketts would say, it's been nice knowing you, Spree.

	Garnett

Of course, there is one team that can do a 1-for-1 deal for O'Neal. The Minnesota Timberwolves have Kevin Garnett to offer. Garnett hasn't approached Shaq's dominance. He hasn't been a factor as a late-game player. But he still is immensely talented and makes $19.6 million this season.

"But to start making the deal fair," said another GM, "the Timberwolves would have to include a ton of No. 1 picks."

Last we checked, they don't have those, courtesy of Glen Taylor's secret deal with Joe Smith.

Shaq's $88 million extension, kicking in in the 2003-04 season, is going to be costly for any team unwilling to pay the luxury tax. The Knicks don't want to take the luxury-tax hit, but they'd be more than willing to if it meant getting Shaq. Portland is another team that could live taking the hit.

Owner Paul Allen now has the largest payroll in league history, at around $87 million. If the Blazers could work a deal with their Pacific Division rivals for O'Neal, Allen might see his dream of winning a title come true. The Blazers certainly have the high-ticket players to make it work, cap-wise. But any deal would have to start with Rasheed Wallace, who's been having an MVP season. But since Wallace makes $12.6 million, Portland would have to add at least Dale Davis ($6 million) to make it work.

But the chances of Shaq going to Portland are ZERO.

"They're our competition," Scottie Pippen said.

Dallas' Mark Cuban is no lightweight in the wallet, either. With a net worth of $1.9 billion and willing to spend whatever it takes to bring Dallas a title, Cuban wouldn't make a peep about the league's officiating anymore if it meant getting O'Neal. The Mavs' prize players, Dirk Nowitzki and Michael Finley, would have to be part of any deal. But they only make a combined $10.5 million. You want any other players off that roster? Probably not. So why would the Lakers?

	Abdur-Rahim

There's a team north or Portland that could use Shaq as well. Vancouver has some high-salaried players to make it work, too. The Grizzlies are willing to deal Shareef Abdur-Rahim, one of the better kept secrets in the league. But teams that have called recently asking about Abdur-Rahim have been told that they also have to take Big Country Bryant Reeves as part of the deal. Together, those two make $20 million. But since Reeves is vastly overpaid -- "he's a $4 million player," according to one GM -- and is on the books for three more seasons, the Grizzlies probably couldn't make anything approaching a fair offer.

"That's a big problem when you're talking about making an offer for Shaq," said another executive. "You're talking about the best player in the league, the reigning MVP. No one can match that talent. Teams would have to give up numerous No. 1 picks."

Don't' remind the Magic. They watched their budding dynasty tumble when O'Neal left in 1996 as a free agent. You bet they'd love to have him come back. They'd have to give up Tracy McGrady for starters, along with Grant Hill. That would make the salaries work, but what would the Lakers do with McGrady, Hill and Bryant?

The Bulls and Clippers are the only teams under the cap, making deals much easier. Both would be crazy not to make a bid for O'Neal. But neither has the assets to come close to whetting the Lakers' appetite. Chicago would have to come up with a lot more than Elton Brand. Likewise, the Clippers wouldn't have nearly enough, even if they offer Lamar Odom and Darius Miles.

Back to reality, for a second.

"As I told my players in training camp ," coach Jeff Van Gundy said, concerning the daily trade rumors surrounding the Knicks, "there is only one untradable player in the entire league. That's Shaq."

What about Kobe?

Every team that would make a play for Shaq would certainly do all it could to bring on Bryant. Those include the Wizards, Knicks, Magic, Mavs, Bulls and Clips and would involve many of the same players who would be offered for Shaq. Talents like McGrady, Nowitzki, Finley, Odom and Brand would have to be included.

Since he makes about half of what O'Neal takes in, Bryant's $10 million salary for this season would make him easier to deal for than O'Neal. But we're still talking about one of the top five players in the game today. Teams might be able to match his salary, but almost all would be hard-pressed to come up with the package of players to make it work.

	Carter

Toronto, obviously, has Vince Carter, but he hasn't won a playoff game yet and makes only $2.4 million. Even if the Raptors threw in Charles Oakley or Antonio Davis, they'd still be short by about $3 million. The Sixers would almost have to make a run for Bryant, who played high school ball outside Philly. Allen Iverson makes about the same as Bryant, but can you imagine Iverson and O'Neal trying to coexist? Impossible.

We'd suggest the Nets offering Stephon Marbury, who makes as much as Bryant and is a star-quality player. But Marbury left Garnett in Minnesota so that he could be the No. 1 man in New Jersey. Who says he'd be willing to be No. 2 to Shaq? And don't forget, the Nets wanted to draft Bryant, but he wanted no part of playing for the Clippers of the East. So why would he now?

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