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Monday, July 10
All-Star plague reaches epidemic status



ATLANTA -- It's not quite Dustin Hoffman's sequel to "Outbreak" just yet. But as best we can tell from hanging out in All-Star Land, the only thing more dangerous these days than being named to the All-Star team is trying to calculate Jose Lima's ERA without sophisticated technological devices.

Junior Griffey: Gone. Patella Phemeral Syndrome.

Greg Maddux: Gone. Shaggus Clank-a-shoulder Syndrome.

Pedro Martinez: Gone. First to discover the existence of the oblique muscle.

Barry Bonds. Gone. First to thumb his nose at the All-Star Game practically literally.

And that's just to name a few. What's this? No Big Mac? No Cal Ripken? This can't be an All-Star Game. It's the Pizza Hut Softball Classic.

Jose  Vidro, Sammy Sosa, Vladimir Guerrero
These All-Stars aren't hurtin: The Cubs' Sammy Sosa and the Expos' Jose Vidro, top, and teammate Vladimir Guerrero find time to joke around before practice at Turner Field.

Before this year, there had never been an All-Star Game in which more than four starters had to be replaced because of injuries or other valid excuse notes from close relatives. (And the only year we even had four was in 1980, when Mike Schmidt, Jim Rice, George Brett and Paul Molitor pulled out.)

This year, we're missing seven elected starters. (That's Griffey, Bonds, McGwire, Mike Piazza in the NL, Ripken, Alex Rodriguez and Manny Ramirez in the AL, if you're keeping track in your living-room M*A*S*H unit.)

So how can this be? Is there some sort of All-Star Plague germ somehow disabling baseball's immune systems? Who knows? Not even the All-Stars themselves can figure it out.

"Maybe there's like some big party going on at the Hamptons that I don't know about," Al Leiter theorized.

Asked if he's peeved that he apparently wasn't invited to that party, Leiter deadpanned: "Hell, yeah. I might have to come up with a blister or something."

Leiter said even his daughter was a little downcast about having all her favorite players -- immediate family not included -- out of the old Midsummer Classic.

"I told her, 'Hey, Britney Spears is singing the anthem," Leiter reported. "She said: 'Ooh. Britney Spears.' "

"Wait," we interrupted, "hasn't she bowed out, too?"

"Yeah," Leiter quipped. "Pulled vocal cord."

OK, we made up that update on Britney Spears. But all these other people are really missing. And that's creating all sorts of havoc here at baseball's showcase event for anyone willing to show up, including Joe Girardi. So here's a rundown on some of the injury-related madness:

No Ripken
How weird is it to have an All-Star Game without Cal? Let's just say that the last time he didn't play in one -- in 1982 -- Howard Cosell was in the booth. And both of this year's honorary captains -- Dale Murphy and Dave Winfield -- played in that game. And Manny Mota and Woodie Fryman were still active.

And since this is Cal Ripken, we're talking about more than just longevity. This is a guy so historically durable that Mike Flanagan once said: "If Cal ever broke a leg or something, he'd just will it to heal overnight."

But alas, he couldn't will his back to heal -- not overnight, not even overmonth.

"If he's not here," said ex-teammate Steve Finley, "you know he's hurting really bad."

In fact, if he's not here, you have to worry about how many more times we'll be seeing him play in any game, let alone the All-Star Game. But that's a topic for another day.

No Maddux
We're not sure at what point this All-Star Plague crossed the line to become an official epidemic. But it might have been Saturday, when Maddux got nailed by a baseball in his pitching shoulder while shagging flies during batting practice.

"I don't know what happened," Maddux said. "I enjoy shagging. I just didn't pick the ball up. I saw it. I heard it. I just didn't pick it up."

Maddux has made 436 career starts. He's never missed one of them with an announced arm injury. Then he misses one when he gets drilled in the shoulder in the outfield? Tell us there's nothing funny at work when that happens.

"Yeah, there's definitely a jinx going on somewhere," Maddux said. "But I think we're the last guys anyone should probably ever feel sorry for."

It's this kind of healthy attitude that makes Greg Maddux the great, level-headed American he is.

Danny Graves, come on down
The principal that seems to define the selection of your All-Star rosters at this point is: Somebody has to play the game. So when Maddux went down, somebody had to pop up. And that somebody turned out to be Reds closer Danny Graves.

Much as he deserved to be there with his 9-1 record and his 14 saves, Graves had resigned himself to doing something else this week. "When I wasn't picked the first time, I made plans to go to Lake Cumberland in Kentucky," he said.

So the Lake Cumberland reservations were made. The bags were packed. "And then all of a sudden, (Reds GM) Jim Bowden comes up to me (Sunday) and says something about, 'You're going to the All-Star Game,' "Graves said. "And I said, 'No, I'm going to Lake Cumberland.' It didn't dawn on me I was going to participate in the All-Star Game, not just to watch it."

Eventually, though, it did in fact dawn on him. And if the slight technicality that he was only going because of someone else's injury bothered him, it was tough to tell.

"That was probably the only time in my life I was ever speechless," Graves said. "And then, even when I could start talking, I didn't know what I was talking about. I started stuttering and mumbling and saying 'uh' and 'like' 10 times in every sentence. It was weird. But that was all the emotion coming over me.

"Then, having to pitch -- whew. I don't remember how bad I pitched. But it was pretty bad. I know that. Hit a guy with the bases loaded. Give up two runs. It was just one of those days where something took over my body -- all the happy emotions."

Normally, happy emotions are a good thing. Ultimately, they'll be a good thing for Danny Graves, too. But will Lake Cumberland ever recover from that unexpected vacancy? That's the question.

"You know, I was going to take my 3-year-old fishing," Graves said. "We've never been fishing together. But I told him, 'We'll just have to go fishing another day.' "

Preferably, of course, another day when there isn't an All-Star Game scheduled.

Catcher wanted
It wasn't until Sunday night that Bobby Cox discovered he needed another catcher to replace Mike Piazza, the new president of the Roger Clemens Fan Club.

He conferred with Katy Feeney of the commissioner's office. They thought real hard. They tried Todd Hundley, but he had a family illness. They tried Javy Lopez, but he'd already bolted the mainland for Puerto Rico.

They were up past 1 a.m., Cox said, "trying to locate a catcher." Finally, Cubs catcher Joe Girardi answered the phone and became the 25th first-time All-Star to be selected for this game. No truth to the rumor Steve Swisher was next on Cox's list.

No Big Mac
Oh, it's possible to hold an All-Star Game without Mark McGwire in it. This is his 14th season, and he's been a non-All Star twice before. This is known in the trade as precedent.

But how can you hold an All-Star Home Run Derby without Big Mac in it? Would they hold an E Street Band show with no Springsteen? Would ABC give away a million bucks without Regis? Impossible.

Who was going to hit a ball off the Georgia Dome? Who was going to hit a ball that came down in the Gulf of Mexico?

Only Big Mac has that in him. So to tarnish the All-Star Game is one thing. To tarnish the Home Run Derby is the final outrage.

Asked if he thought the Derby could possibly be the same without McGwire, Leiter put on his very brightest face.

"I think it's better," he said, "because I think I'm filling in for him. Except they're moving the fences in for me. They're kiddy fences. Actually, everything over the shortstop is a home run when I hit."

And by then, we'd heard enough. We had a party in the Hamptons we had to get to.

Jayson Stark is a senior writer for ESPN.com.
 



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