When Lindsay Davenport pulled out of the French Open with a sore knee less than 20 hours before clay-off, it meant that nearly a quarter of the top-ranked women in the world would miss the second leg of tennis' Grand Slam. In addition to Davenport (2), recent serendipitous sticks and stones before the tournament claimed Monica Seles (6), Anna ... sob ... Kournikova (9), defending champion Mary Pierce (18) and Chanda Rubin (22). And that's not counting the assorted ailments hounding the predator sisters, Venus (2) and Serena (7) Williams (the latter has played basically two-thirds of a clay match in three years and is a Default Waiting to Happen Here), Elena (Dr. Demento) Dimentieva (9) and Belgian teen Justin Henin (16).

Then came the first round and more disaster. When Davenport withdrew, it meant Amelie Mauresmo (5) -- the homegirl who had been the hottest girl (statistically speaking, of course) on tour with four tournament wins -- would play Jana Kandarr instead of Lina (alphabet) Krasnoroutskaya. On a scalding-sun opening afternoon, Mauresmo promptly froze on Court Central and was beaten 7-5, 7-5.

Shortly after that, Williams The Elder got punked herself ("Nothing's a setback, it's just a loss.") by the beauteous Barbara Schett, 6-4, 6-4. Not only was it the first time since pro tennis went open that the two highest seeds in a half of a Grand Slam draw had lost their first-rounders, it meant that five of the top 10 women were finished practically before the tournament started.

This lady lame stuff keeps up and Bobby Riggs could turn out to be the Queen of the May after all. Oh, he's dead? Never mind.

Speaking of which, Roland Garros himself (no relation to either Johnny Roland or Garros Sheffield) -- the man whose name graces the burgeoning complex of trees and stadia and dirt courts marvelously laid out on the edge of the Bois de Boulogne where everybody will get their whites stained copper over the next two weeks -- might be turning over in his grave as well. That's if he hadn't also been way too long, long dead -- now going on 73 years.

Not that the pioneering flyboy cared about women's tennis, or any tennis for that matter, when he achieved world renown by becoming the first pilot to fly across the Mediterranean (Saint Rafael, France, to Bizerta, Tunisia) in 1913. Five years later Garros was killed when his plane was shot down just weeks before the armistice was signed ending World War I.

Like Elvis and Dale, however, ol' Rollie may have known all about significant career moves. A decade after his death, when the Federation Francaise de Tennis (FFT) wanted the sports club Stade Francais to cede its land for a tennis complex, club officials agreed only if it was named after their late compatriot and dues-paying member. Volla! Instant fame and a household name. So much so that you and I may know the world's premier ground shale tournament as the French Open, or in shorthand, "the French." But absolutely nobody in France does. Since 1998 its official moniker has been ... roll trumpets ... or taps or something ... "Roland Garros."

Not that this has made parts of the family Garros partly garrulous. All of a sudden a nephew, Jean-Pierre Lefevre-Garros (no relation to Pierre Turgeon or Jim Lefebvre), field a lawsuit last year against the FFT claiming some kind of name capitalization. Of course, Lefevre-Garros' pending suit coincides with the reissuing of his own biography of his uncle. Publicity mongering? Mais non! Instead of going live with Laurent King to plug his book, nephew went to the legal mattresses. "We dare today to make money off dead heroes," Lefevre-Garros' lawyer told the French sports newspaper L'Equipe. " We must stop transforming the glories of France into fast food ..."

Qu'est-ce que c'est? (Loosely: say what?)

C'mon, Frog Boy. Burn all the golden arches you want, but call off your law dogs yapping and nipping at those forward-seeking folks who've been producing and selling objects honoring your family's name for more than 20 years. Take away tennis and Uncle Rollie'd be just another cross on the hill.

By the way, the reigning king of the clay hills, the batty Brazilian, Gustavo Kuerten -- two-time and defending Roland Garros champ -- manifested just why he's so beloved by the international media when he explained his mindset prior to his opening match against budding Argentine star Guillermo Coria. "I think I have to start very strong this tournament, no?" said Guga. "Like every match here is like a final for everybody. We have to win all the time. So it's going to be maybe we both a little bit nervous at the beginning, especially for be the first match, Normally, then we should play a great match, you know, each other. Probably the one who is going to enjoy more is going to win."

Probably, the one who enjoyed more was Guga since on Monday he opened the defense of his title, winning all the time, like a final for everybody, especially for the first match, 6-1, 7-5, 6-4, you know, the other, and starting very strong this tournament, no?

Curry Kirkpatrick is a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine. E-mail him at curry.kirkpatrick@espnmag.com.