What the heck was Britney Spears thinking when she apparently slipped Madonna the tongue during their controversial kiss at the MTV Video Music Awards?

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A. "Gosh, all I wanted to do was tongue-kiss a sexually-provocative female superstar on a major awards show seen by millions worldwide, and it turns into a media circus."

B. "I don't see what the big deal is. After all, I've been kissing her ass for years."

C. "If you're going to French a woman for the first time, it might as well be with one who knows what she's doing."

D. "When was I going to get another chance to kiss a world-famous children's-book author?"

E. "The way I figure it, second base should be a lock by the time the Grammys roll around."

F. "It really wasn't all that different from kissing Justin."