Christina Aguilera's just the girl next door, dressed only in a scarf and short-shorts.

What the heck was Christina Aguilera thinking when she made her raunchy new video for the song "Dirrty?"

A. "What you're seeing now is my real personality, as determined by my record label and various focus groups."

B. "What a girl wants … what a girl needs … is to exploit her sex-u-al-ity."

C. "It's important to do this now. I won't have this body when I'm thirrty."

D. "You know that VH1 show 'Porn to Rock'? I'm gonna be the first woman to go 'Rock to Porn.' "

E. "What part of voulez vous couchez avec moi ce soir didn't you understand?"

F. "Listen, I'm not in the Mickey Mouse Club anymore. But if you want, I can go put on my old uniform. That'd be kinky."