Pow! yourself, Babe.

What the heck was Dennis Miller thinking when he watched John Madden's debut on ABC's "Monday Night Football"?

A. "Sure, he knows his football, but let's see him deftly weave in an obscure analogy comparing David Carr to the Archbishop of Canterbury."

B. "I can't wait to see how ESPN.com annotates 'Boom!' "

C. "I don't see John Madden getting any offers for 'Bordello of Blood II'."

D. "Hello Neilsens? In case you're wondering, I was watching the 'Anna Nicole Show' on Tivo."

E. "Madden is bigger than a Guillaume de Machaut composition played in Gaudi's Sagrada Familia, if you know what I'm saying."

F. "Leary's got four of a kind, Maher's got a full house, and Stewart just raised me 10 bucks -- too rich for my blood. Hey, somebody turn up the volume on MNF."