Ohio State sensation Maurice Clarett had thousands of dollars worth of cash, CDs, stereo equipment and TVs stolen from the car he was driving back in April. While the car is now registered to The Car Store, the NCAA is investigating the incident for possible improprieties.

The police report, however, failed to list the following undicslosed items which were found inside the vehicle:

1. Marcus Dupree

	He can run, but can he slip this incident past the NCAA?

The newly minted Washington Redskins scout was found in the backseat of Clarett's vehicle, making use of the sophisticated audio/visual equipment. Said Dupree: "This stuff is really nice, great for film study ... and besides, I see Maurice's career taking the same arc as mine ... I can relate to him."

2. Prescription antacids and headache medication

Prescribed to Jim Tressel -- the sweater-vest wearing coach with the clean image -- these pills will get him through the next two seasons of controversy, investigation and intrigue with his star RB. The pills are refillable through Clarett's junior season, after which he will turn pro.

3. Several textbooks still encased in plastic

Apparently a gift from former Ohio State star Andy Katzenmoyer. "I was helping Maurice study for his Golf final," said the Big Kat. "This is an institution of higher learning and as an alumnus I will help in whatever way I can. I know from experience that it's important that Maurice at least pretend to go to class once in a while." Once a Buckeye, always a Buckeye.

4. The NCAA

Found hiding underneath some 300 compact discs, adjacent to the whirlpool and kitty corner from the large plasma screen television, the NCAA has decided to set up permanent residence in Clarett's vehicle stating: "This way we can keep an eye on him at all times ... plus the women are better looking in here."

5. Damon Stoudamire and Rasheed Wallace

Who knew they were such big college football fans?

6. A little black book with Jennifer Lopez's cell phone number

	Archie Griffin is the only two-time winner (1974-75) of the Heisman Trophy.

Apparently, as Clarett's fame and wallet grow, so do his chances of marrying the pop star/actress. Look for this story to break in another couple of years.

7. Team schedules for the Saskatchewan Rough Riders, Toronto Argonauts and Winnepeg Blue Bombers

These CFL franchises will all be vying for Clarett's services should he make too many enemies with the NCAA. Clarett could soon be receiving handoffs from Eric Crouch.

8. The guy from the Best Buy commercials

"Like playing with stuff?" he said. "Can I interest you in a DVD/VCR/TV combo, or perhaps the new Jay-Z album? Or perhaps you would like to browse our DVD collection ... in the backseat, take a left at the ashtray ... if you get to the Portland Trail Blazers you've gone too far."

9. Archie Griffin's legacy

Still firmly intact.