I've got a friend who grew up in a non-baseball nation but is determined to learn the game. The thing is, he wants to know more than the rules; he wants to know the reasons behind the rules.

This is where we have a problem.

If you ever want to make baseball sound silly, try to explain it to someone who knows nothing about it. Everything you take for granted has to be explained in detail. A forceout is a 20-minute explanation. A sacrifice fly is a good 10.

	So, please explain the rule on corking bats once again?

The infield fly rule? Take my advice: Forget the infield fly rule.

Once I had to explain why a runner on first who had passed second base needed to re-tag the base in order to go back to first after a long flyball. I think that one ended in a stalemate, with the final answer being, "Well, just because he does. Trust me."

I thought about all this while watching the end of the Cubs-Phillies game the other night. The Cubs won, and the split-second the last out was made, the camera switched to the Cubs bench, where Dick Pole was finishing off a hearty handshake with Dusty Baker. Then both men advanced to the rest of the coaches, the trainers, the players on the bench and then the players on the field.

Nobody shakes hands the way baseball people shake hands. No one's even close.

It's another of the game's quirks we take for granted. If you put a shake-o-meter on a coach's hand the minute he arrived at the ballpark, he'd reach triple figures by game time. They're the shakingest guys in a shake-happy game.

So I'm wondering if my friend will ever get enough knowledge to advance to the unwritten rules of baseball. No stealing when you're ahead by five after the seventh. No showing up a hitter after a strikeout. No watching home runs by non-home run hitters.

This guy already thinks balls and strikes are completely arbitrary. In his world, the umpire just throws his right hand up whenever he feels like it. He says they should just swing the bat if they can reach it.

So, if you think the infield fly is bad, imagine explaining that a pitcher threw at a hitter, because he took a hack at a 3-0 pitch in the late innings of a lopsided game.

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