When Hootie Johnson finally caves in -- or moves on to the 19th hole in the sky, whichever comes first -- the members of Augusta National will be faced with a difficult question: Who to admit as the club's first female member?

Page 2 examines the possibilities:

Sandra Day O'Connor
Day job: Supreme Court Justice.

Pros: Rumored to be the front-runner. An avid golfer.

Cons: Lacks the straight-shootin' candor of Judge Judy; the charming cantankerousness of Judge Wapner; the firm-yet-kind touch of Judge Joe Brown.

	If she were admitted to Augusta, Madonna might get a little carried away.

Madonna
Day job: Musician/"actress."

Pros: Though faux-British accent doesn't fit, the pretentiousness that spawned it surely does.

Cons: Nightly screenings of "Shanghai Surprise" and "Body of Evidence." No. No. A thousand times no.

Condoleezza Rice
Day job: National Security Adviser.

Pros: Good at keeping a secret; unlikely to be shocked or awed by a room full of old, rich, powerful white guys.

Cons: Use of CIA satellite data, Army Corps of Engineers to steer clear of bunkers an unfair advantage.

	Sharon Osbourne might be a little too wealthy for the Augusta clientele.

Sharon Osbourne
Day job: Star of "The Osbournes."

Pros: Could probably buy 'n' sell Hootie 10 times over, thanks to lucrative MTV contract.

Cons: Doddering husband a prime candidate to publicly urinate on the first tee.

Annika Sorenstam
Day job: LPGA member.

Pros: She can play.

Cons: Could encourage more lame gender-blending from LPGA wannabe Brian Kontak. What's next for that guy, the Playboy Extreme Team? (Come to think of it ... sign us up!)

Connie Chung
Day job: Former CNN news anchor.

Pros: Has plenty of time on her hands.

Cons: The Povich factor. Unless trading putts with a guy who ranks somewhere between Jenny Jones and Jerry Springer on The Great Chain of Syndicated Talk Show Being is your idea of a fun afternoon.

	Elin Nordegren is already tight with the guy who really owns Augusta.

Elin Nordegren
Day job: Tiger Woods' girlfriend.

Pros: Boyfriend is a regular.

Cons: Keep her away from the clubhouse kitchen.

Jackie Christie
Day job: Doug Christie's wife.

Pros: Fiercely loyal.

Cons: Dangerous with a handbag. Deadly with a 9-iron.

Heidi Klum
Day job: Supermodel.

Pros: Best. Looking. Member. Ever. Might invite some of her hot friends to play, too.

Cons: Members not allowed to golf in bikinis. Unless they change club rules!

Oprah Winfrey
Day job: Talk-show host.

Pros: Would help Hootie and Co. get in touch with weepy, expressive side; Augusta National the only thing left for her to conquer.

Cons: Masters telecast shifted to the Oxygen network; Augusta National the only thing left for her to conquer.

Martha Burk
Day job: Chair, National Council of Women's Organizations.

Pros: If you can't beat 'em, allow 'em to join.

Cons: Every other member might quit.

Patrick Hruby is a sportswriter for the Washington Times. You can reach him at phrub@yahoo.com.