| | | Some quick NFL notes from a guy who was planted in front of his (DirecTV-enhanced) television for the Week 1 games (which seem like a million years ago):
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Bill vs. Bailey |
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Seems like everybody thinks they can handicap NFL games, so Page 2 has decided to turn to its two experts in the field of prognostication. Predicting games isn't an exact science, so each week we'll have Page 2 columnist Bill Simmons, the Sports Guy, go head-to-head with Bailey the Sports Dog.
Simmons' credentials you probably know: He's a die-hard Boston sports nut who represents the common fan.
Bailey is a Samoyed husky-black Labrador cross with a nose for pigskin. He's lived in Colorado, Chicago and Seattle while loyally following college and pro football for the past 14 years.
Each week, Simmons and Bailey will select their four best choices against the spread. We'll also keep a running score throughout the season.
Both experts are hesitant to reveal their secrets, but here's what we can tell you about their methods: Simmons will use his extensive football knowledge, the Internet and key newspapers to come up with his can't-miss picks. Bailey will choose between two dog treats representing teams in each matchup.
Of course, these are only predictions and not recommendations for wagering. Simmons and Bailey are just doing this for pride. OK, maybe a little kibble but that's all. |
The Vikings and Titans are shaping up as the "Disappointing Contenders" in each conference. The Vikes, especially -- they just don't seem like they have enough talent spread across both sides of the ball anymore (I'd be very worried if I were a Minnesota fan). On the flip side, the Chargers and Jaguars might even be better than expected, although the Jags always have the FTIF (Fred Taylor Injury Factor) hanging over them.
My head went through the windshield of the James Thrash Fantasy Bandwagon during the Rams-Eagles game. McNabb never throws to him, and there's a reason for that -- Thrash doesn't even start. I waived him from my league and immediately picked up Todd Pinkston (shhhhhhhhhhh).
Could Carolina be shaping up as the "Out of Nowhere Team" in the NFC? That upset victory in Minnesota looked pretty convincing. I'm staying away from them in Atlanta out of principle until this whole thing plays out. And I'm enjoying the Chris Weinke Era, frankly.
Hey, Terrell Davis is battling knee problems again! In related breaking news, Anne Heche announced that she's completely insane. Speaking of Denver, you wonder how the Broncos will handle this Ed McCaffrey injury ... it's enough to make me want to revise my Super Bowl pick. He made too many big plays for them over the years.
Quincy Carter's Week 1 stats: 9-for-19, zero touchdowns, two interceptions and 34 yards. On the bright side, he executed all handoffs correctly.
The Bengals looked frisky against my beloved Patsies, who look poised to crap the bed for the third straight season. The Bengals are looming as the feel-good 7-9 team this season.
OK, I'll say it: the Colts defense still stinks. And so does Kordell Stewart. Nothing ever changes in this league.
Jon Gruden had some classic sideline moments during the Chiefs-Raiders nailbiter; they need to come up with another channel on the NFL Sunday Ticket package that just has an isolated camera on Gruden for three hours. I would watch it. Speaking of the Chiefs, if you took Trent Green in your fantasy draft (like, um, me for instance), your worst fears came to life: his receivers stink. Let's just say Mikhael Ricks was prominently involved in Week 1. You can't run the Rams offense if you don't have the personnel.
All right ... maybe I was wrong about the Dolphins (I picked them to go 7-9). They manhandled the Titans in Week 1. On the road, no less. Very impressive.
|  | | Bill Simmons scouts a Pats game. |
I'm staying away from the Jets and Giants with this week's picks, for obvious reasons. They could go one of two ways: "Motivated" or "Distracted." Basically it's a roll of the dice ... and it's awful to even talk about, so let's move on.
The Rams defense looked positively competent in Philly. With that said, bookies wouldn't take odds on Kurt Warner lasting the season -- the Eagles pounded him like a piece of veal. He's starting to get the permanent Aikman Face going. I'm not betting on them all season ... I think the Rams' backup QB is Warren Beatty.
Finally, yes ... I know I'm losing to a dog. Don't get any "USA 4, USSR 3" ideas ... this is a marathon, not a sprint.
On to this week's picks ...
Bill Simmons' Week 2 NFL predictions
Season record: 1-3
Buffalo at Indianapolis
Even before Sam Cowart went out for the season, the Bills were shaping up as the worst team in the AFC. And if that's not enough, Rob Johnson's involved! A 10-point spread doesn't seem high enough.
-- The pick: Colts 38, Bills 10
San Diego at Dallas
I actually watched a good chunk of San Diego's Week 1 victory -- granted, Jeff George was prominently involved, but the Bolts looked pretty convincing. If they were playing this game six weeks from now, San Diego would be favored by seven instead of three. By the way, seeing Doug Flutie roll out and toss a strike to Tim Dwight puts a hop in my step like nothing you've ever seen. I'm so on the Chargers' Bandwagon it's scary.
-- The pick: Chargers 17, Cowboys 6
Detroit at Cleveland
All I know about this one is A) the Browns are getting one at home, and B) Ty Detmer is starting for the Lions. Good enough.
-- The pick: Browns 13, Lions 10
Washington at Green Bay
Jeff George is like the NFL version of the ebola virus. Considering this is a Monday night game in Lambeau, they can't make this line (8½ points) high enough.
-- The pick: Packers 31, Redskins 10
Bailey's Week 2 NFL predictions
|  | | Bailey |
Season record: 3-1
Detroit at Cleveland
Cleveland has the most attractive fans in football. Giving them 1½ at home makes me howl.
-- The pick: Browns 20, Lions 10
Tennessee at Jacksonville
This hurts to pick these cats minus 1½, but I still remember the Titans' Week 1 disappointment.
-- The pick: Jaguars 24, Titans 17
New York Jets at New England
No doubt the Jets will be fired up for this one. Sentimental pick even giving the Patriots 1½.
-- The pick: Jets 31, Patriots 23
Washington at Green Bay
A crisp Monday night at Lambeau suits me and the Packers fine. I'll give the Redskins and their dogs 8½ points.
-- Prediction: Packers 27, Redskins 6
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