We don't know about you (and coincidentally, you have your doubts about us, as well), but we suspect the upcoming Summer Olympics in Athens are going to be boatloads of fun.

You know, in the same way that hair-pulling, nail-biting, skull-cracking angst on a national scale is fun.

I mean, consider the exciting life of an American Olympic athlete these days. With the furor over all the freshly flamed-out drug tests, and the new devotion to cleaner, less chemically-fortified runners, jumpers and miscellaneous pituitary cases, American athletes have been cast in a painful role.

It's not just the pressure of medaling, it's the pressure of meeting even the most absurd competitive expectations.

Put another way, the Americans have two choices next summer.

A --- Win everything in sight while passing the urine portion or the exam with flying colors, thereby restoring their reputations as the biggest pony in the Olympic corral.

B --- Don't do well, and be accused by the rest of the world as being drug-enhanced frauds.

Now there's a fun choice to chew over while you're training at 4 a.m.

This is one of the hidden downsides of the USOC's late arrival to the purity-of-essence campaign. When you're not forthcoming about your mistakes, people start thinking the worst of you, and they keep thinking it even when you're trying to show you've changed.

Within the alphabetical wreckage of America's front about drug-free competition (THG, HGH, BALCO, blah blah blah), the greatest damage for the clean American athletes is the idea that they're actually not clean, but just clever.

This is known as the "Yeah, Right'' Syndrome, and it comes when you've lost the ability to make people trust you.

If you think otherwise, we have a helpful phrase for you --- 1970s East German athletes.

Now there are those libertarians among us who don't see the problem as a problem at all. Their case is a simple one:

It's their bodies. It's their choice, just like athletes who don't dose choose not to. The even playing field is a false notion. Stop worrying. Watch the event. Butt out.

Well, that's fine in theory. But Olympic athletes dream of winning Olympic medals, and the people who present those medals are pushing for fewer chemicals in the children's systems.

So Olympians can either play by the rules set down by the IOC, or they can figure out how to make a living out of freelance pole vaulting.

In short, moral considerations aside, the practical issues of staying clean are evident. There's no money, glory or satisfaction in getting caught.

And now, the other half of the scissors.

The Americans' decades of preaching about the cheaters in other countries has worn thin as the stories about the athlete-enhancement industry pile atop each other in an enormous heap.

The rest of the world, in short, is gunning for the U.S. and its false sanctimony (Like the 1,600-meter relay runner who was just caught for having bathroom caulking in his bloodstream, causing officials to now say he shouldn't have been running at Worlds because it was a second offense.), and, typical of the industry, the victims will be the athletes themselves.

Say you're a clean sprinter, boxer, basketball player or gymnast ... well, never mind gymnasts; they have their own issues.

Anyway, you've been drug-free throughout your career, and you've finally hit the big show. You march in the opening ceremonies, and people in the stands think, "I wonder if he's clean.'' You climb into the starting blocks, and officials wonder, "You think she's on something?''

And then you have to win, or come damned close, and then pass the test. Finish seventh, and expect the whispers to follow.

Fair? What's fair got to do with it? This is what happens when the people running your federations try to erase the ethical lines they are sworn to uphold. Yours is the reputation that takes the beating.

That's what awaits the U.S. athlete class in Athens. The rest of the world is in mood to be trifled on this business any more. Win and clear the drug test, and they'll acknowledge the victory through clenched teeth. Win and get caught, and they'll howl "Aha!'' Lose, and they'll suggest, "That's the American athlete off drugs.''

So here's to the U.S. team this coming summer. Be clean, do well, or unfairly reap the whirlwind of cheaters past.

Oh, and have a nice day.

Ray Ratto is a columnist with the San Francisco Chronicle and a regular contributor to ESPN.com