Please accept ESPN.com's apologies for slacking on publishing Rank Comments. This little story about that guy ... what's his name ... Mario Lemieux, that's it. Yeah, that kept us just a little busy last Thursday. In terms of the Rankings themselves, it's time to hand it to St. Louis. The Blues have been in the top five all year, but this is their first venture at the top. And it seems that Southeast Division jokes are as numerous as election jokes.
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Team
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PVS
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W-L-T-OL
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ESPN.com says
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1. Blues
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2
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20-4-3-0
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They've allowed 51 goals in 27 games. We're not that bright, but even we know that's good.
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2. Avalanche
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1
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21-5-3-0
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OK, so Patrick Roy took the night off in New Jersey. Hey, if you win 460 regular-season games, we'll cut you some slack, too.
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3. Penguins
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11
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14-11-3-1
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We adjusted the secret formula for Lemeiux's return. No matter how well he plays, he'll look pretty darn good on the bench with Messrs. Jagr and Kovalev. |
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4. Senators
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5
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17-8-4-0
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No more lawsuits. That's another thing not in the old-school formula. What's next? We have to bump up the Stars because MLB's Rangers are getting A-Rod?
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5. Maple Leafs
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7
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16-7-4-2
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Panthers tie wasn't so hot, but Leafs doing what they need to, namely beat good teams.
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6. Devils
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3
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13-10-6-0
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Devils played five times last week and only got four points. Martin Brodeur (2) only has six fewer shots on net than Jim Mckenzie (8). |
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7. Canucks
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9
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16-9-4-2
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Do you know that Markus Naslund has 18 goals, double the amount of the team's No. 2 scorer? Did you know he was team captain? Do you even know who he is?
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8. Stars
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6
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15-8-4-1
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Ed Belfour has seven shutouts and seven losses. C'mon, Eddie! You gotta have more shutouts than losses.
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9. Sharks
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4
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16-6-4-0
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Sharks got spanked at the Tank. Gary Suter and Owen Nolan were both minus-4. Sharks' team defense needs to be better.
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10. Sabres
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10
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15-9-3-1
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Word on the street: Peca more serious about talks than Sabres. Lemieux comeback puts more pressure on the organization to make a move.
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11. Red Wings
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8
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17-11-1-2
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Even Wings fans don't think Detroit's a contender. We don't get hate mail anymore when they're not in the top five.
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12. Kings
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18
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15-9-6-0
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Thursday's game with the Rangers will pit Ziggy Palffy vs. Theo Fleury -- the league's top two point-getters. (Is "getters" a word?)
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13. Flyers
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21
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13-12-4-0
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Bill Barber's the new coach. What's next? Bernie Parent replacing Roman Cechmanek if he has a bad night? What about Terry Crisp and Bill Clement? Let's find a spot for them, too.
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14. Thrashers
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24
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10-11-6-1
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Southeast Division is out of control. Thrashers are in first and have won five of last six and need four wins to equal last year's total.
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15. Coyotes
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17
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13-8-8-0
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Rumors flying about what Gretzky might do ... Pat Burns? Trade Keith Tkachuk? ... One thing you can count on: Gretz won't be hitting the ice as a player.
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16. Rangers
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19
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15-15-0-0
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Hey, tie one or lose in OT. Your record looks really odd with those two zeroes.
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17. Oilers
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22
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15-12-4-0
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This might be a little low, but Oilers have lost three of last five. Canucks have allowed same number of goals (82) but have scored 18 more. |
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18. Capitals
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12
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10-11-6-1
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With next game vs. Isles and the four after at home, Caps have solid chance to stay high in the Southeast. (Whatever that's worth)
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19. Hurricanes
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14
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11-12-3-1
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Of all people, Kevin Hatcher -- who has a career minus-26 -- is the only player on the team on the plus side. And he's only played 11 games ... give him some time. |
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20. Ducks
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20
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10-15-4-3
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Steve Rucchin wearing a full face shield. Was it to protect his tender nose or to protect his identity as a Mighty Ducks player?
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21. Predators
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15
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11-13-5-1
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Expansion teams aren't that bad this year, but they remain the best cure for a losing streak.
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22. Bruins
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28
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10-14-3-3
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Even the team's trainer can't stand Mike Keenan. That's like getting Mother Teresa mad at you.
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23. Flames
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26
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8-13-6-4
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Don Hay might be raking some back on the farm pretty soon if the Flames don't start rolling.
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24. Blue Jackets
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30
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9-18-2-1
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A solid week for the Jackets. After getting spanked in Chicago, Columbus beat Anaheim, won an OT game vs. Boston and then tied Phoenix on the road.
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25. Lightning
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23
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9-14-2-2
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Five points out of first in the Southeast is like losing a foot race to a bunch of toddlers. Next four are on the road against big-time opponents like the Avs and Kings.
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26. Islanders
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25
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8-14-4-2
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The Isles would be five out if they were in the Southeast. 'Nuff said.
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27. Wild
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29
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8-16-4-2
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Brian Engblom told us to make sure you get a lot of sleep before seeing these guys play. Forget the boring style, it takes a lot of focus to figure out who the heck is on this team.
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28. Blackhawks
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16
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10-16-2-2
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Definition of highlights: Beating Columbus or Tony Amonte's dyed hair?
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29. Canadiens
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13
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9-18-3-0
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Reality check. Maybe they should fire their coach every other week. By March, Patrick Roy could be player-coach.
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30. Panthers
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27
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5-13-5-5
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Five wins. Five stinking wins. Five freaking wins. Count 'em on one hand. FIVE WINS.
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