You better watch out (Jeremy Roenick's on your tail!), you'd better not cry (those Thrash aren't that bad, are they?), you'd better not pout (or they'll deal you to Buffalo), we're telling you why ... it's almost Christmas.

Yes, it's time for ho-ho-ho-ing why the Flames haven't hired a head coach yet and mistletoeing the Predators' playoff hopes goodbye. There's been the naughty, like the Avs, the Caps, the Sharks, and the nice, like the Bruins, the Blues and the Bolts.

So in the true, commercialized, gift-giving spirit of the season, a few trinkets that might be welcome under the 30 trees across the National Hockey League:

Anaheim Mighty Ducks: A healthy Steve Steve Rucchin. The additions of Petr Sykora and Adam Oates were given big play, but Rucchin's injury bug over the last two years has made people forget -- yet, ironically, only reinforced -- how valuable he is to the club.

Atlanta Thrashers: A mercy rule. Oh, and a few guys who don't require a dictionary to find the meaning of the word "defense." Inside their own zone, they continue to show all the control of holiday sales shoppers; they still get lit up like the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center.

	Wouldn't an MVP trophy look good under Joe Thornton's Christmas tree?

Boston Bruins: How's about an MVP for Joe Thornton? The onetime can't-miss kid who did has embraced his captaincy role and is blossoming in Beantown. If Mario's Penguins don't shake the doldrums soon and the B's stay in or near the Eastern Conference lead, Joe could have a chance. A few more folks in the rink would be appreciated, too.

Buffalo Sabres: An owner. Otherwise, as commish Gary Bettman said last week, they could be gonzo Alonzo.

Calgary Flames: The real Jarome Iginla. Not that all-too-obvious charlatan putzing around with a Clarke Wilm-like goal total. Or, horrors, could this be closer to the real goods than the Colossus of a year ago? (Oh, and a coach, if it's not too much of a bother).

Carolina Hurricanes: A guarantee that Ron Francis can play forever. It's still a pleasure to watch the wily old pro, one of the game's most underappreciated talents, at work.

Chicago Blackhawks: A continued recovery for Theo Fleury. Already, in his short stint since returning, the little runt has displayed the sort of impact he can make. Hockey defines him, you hate to think where he'll be when he's done, and he's running perilously short of chances.

Colorado Avalanche: A few wins in Denver would be festive. They've only won four times all season at the Pepsi Center. Their home is fast becoming the Amityville Horror house.

Columbus Blue Jackets: Changing places with their expansion brethren, the Wild.

Dallas Stars: An all-star nod for goaltender Marty Turco. So long, Eddie, we hardly remember you ...

Detroit Red Wings: Steve Yzerman, back in the lineup. Everybody has to retire sometime, but Stevie Y still has the capacity to leave us enthralled. Not only do the Wings still need him, the game does, too. Also, a head-coaching assignment sometime soon for Barry Smith, the forgotten one when Dave Lewis took over from Scotty Bowman.

Edmonton Oilers: A spot in the top eight out West. Admit it, these guys are fun to watch and it just seems, I dunno, sort of weird when at least one of the Alberta teams isn't in on the postseason party.

Florida Panthers: A bit more luck in overtime. Florida's four OT losses are tied for the most in the league. A bounce here, a piece of good fortune there and ...

Los Angeles Kings: A return to health would be nice. With seven regulars injured, it's pretty difficult to make much headway in the tightly contested West.

Minnesota Wild: For the St. Paul fans, so welcoming and enthusiastic the first two years since NHL hockey returned to the Twin Cities, some playoff excitement. They deserve it. As a stocking stuffer, may we be so bold as to suggest the Jack Adams Trophy for Jacques Lemaire?

Montreal Canadiens: The magic elixir to what ails Hart Trophy-winning goalie Jose Theodore. (See Jarome Iginla, Calgary Flames).

Nashville Predators: Some offensive potency. The Preds are annual winners of the league's Most-In-Need-Of-Viagra Award, and seem destined to finish at the bottom of the heap in goals scored. Again.

Ottawa Senators: Good fortune to assistant coach Roger Neilson.

Philadelphia Flyers: A long run in the playoffs. If only for Hitch.

Pittsburgh Penguins: A few more dates against the hapless Flames. Calgary's been the only team the Pens have managed to beat in their last 11 starts.

Phoenix Coyotes: A big second half from Tony Amonte. Eight goals ain't exactly what the Desert Dogs had in mind when they shelled out $6 million a year for his services. So far, Phoenix fans haven't even seen The Partial Amonte.

New Jersey Devils: A resurgence from Joe Nieuwendyk. The two-time 50-goal scorer has but three in 25 starts this season and his lack of sharpness is a main reason the Devs' power play is putrid.

New York Islanders: A more conservative fashion designer. Those pass-the-shades third-uniform duds are butt uh-gly.

New York Rangers: Some sort of bang for those bucks, all 70 million of 'em.

San Jose Sharks: A quick return for ousted coach Darryl Sutter. Yes, he can be flinty, acerbic, demanding. But he's also proven his credentials a hundredfold. Sutter is a brand name -- for winning.

St. Louis Blues: A healthy Chris Pronger. The Blue notes are a factor in the West despite his absence. Imagine the further quantum leap of putting those 30 minutes a night back on the blue line. And job security for Freddie Brathwaite, seen as the No. 3 when the Blues signed free-agent Tom Barrasso. He's earned it.

Tampa Bay Lightning: More league-wide recognition for little Martin St. Louis, a pepperpot of a player whose 34 points are all but forgotten with him playing in the Sunshine State, out of the hockey mainstream.

Toronto Maple Leafs: A sly lawyer to find a fine-print loophole to wriggle them free of Robert Reichel's contract.

Vancouver Canucks: More road games. The Canucks are an astonishing 12-3-4 away from GM Place.

Washington Capitals: Some leadership from the disappointing Jaromir Jagr, who has been passed by Michael Nylander -- Michael Nylander???!!! -- for the team scoring lead.

George Johnson of the Calgary Herald is a regular contributor to ESPN.com.