Because H.G. Wells is a hockey fan (and, rumor has it, the great-great grandfather of former journeyman defenseman Jay Wells), the visionary writer allowed us to borrow his time machine. All he asked in return was a plug for an NHL expansion franchise in London -- and he didn't mean London, Ontario, either.

With the aid of Mr. Wells, we take you through the early stages of the NHL season, following the adamant pronouncement from the league office about the 57th (or is it the 58th?) we-really-mean-it-this-time crackdown on obstruction. This time, we're being told that, among other things, the crackdown will include minors called every time a player uses a stick to slow down or otherwise obstruct an opponent who doesn't have the puck:

NHL referees have stopped reading Bettman's and Van Hellemond's e-mails. When pressed, they claim either that the server is down, their laptop has a virus, or they thought they were being spammed.

October 9
On opening night, the three games -- Rangers at Carolina, Dallas at Colorado, and Phoenix at Los Angeles -- average 26 minor penalties and 21 power plays. When a member of the New York press corps approaches referee Kerry Fraser for comment after Jeff O'Neill scores three power-play goals in Carolina's 4-3 victory over the Rangers, Fraser says: "Come on, you know I can't comment on that stuff. But tell me, you were by a monitor ... how'd my hair look?"

Rangers coach Bryan Trottier muses that if the games were called that way in his day, Mike Bossy would have had 95 goals -- and Trots would have had 122 assists.

A Big Apple sportscaster opens his 82-second segment on a New York newscast that night with: "Call Barney Fife! The Rangers were robbed in Mayberry tonight!"

In Los Angeles, the Kings parlay their 14 power plays into two power-play goals from Ziggy Palffy and one from Jason Allison, and take a 3-2 victory over the Coyotes. In an impromptu news conference in a hallway, Phoenix managing partner Wayne Gretzky grouses that the NHL has become so anti-Canadian, the referees and the league have it in for his team. He scoffs when it's pointed out that the Coyotes are U.S.-based, most referees are Canadian, and he has shown no signs for years of actually wanting to LIVE in Canada.

In Denver, although the Avalanche had 19 power plays to the Stars' six, and the whistle blew every time Peter Forsberg fell down, Colorado loses 3-2 after Stephane Yelle is called for hooking with 51 seconds remaining and Bill Guerin scores with 14 seconds left in regulation.

"How can they call that in the final minute?" harumphs Colorado coach Bob Hartley.

Twenty-four players involved in the three opening-night games are quoted in the next morning's paper as saying something like: "Look, we all know the game needs to be opened up, but that's ridiculous."

Attending one of the games, commissioner Gary Bettman assesses the game sheet and those of the other two contests, and seems so gleeful, some wonder if he had every goal-scorer on his fantasy league team. Then he tells members of the media: "See? We really mean it this time. We believe this sends a message."

Yes, the league office is counting on the fact that that many NHL coaches and players watched the opening-night games on TV, or at least caught the highlights.

October 27-November 2
To meet their unofficial quota of obstruction calls, NHL referees have learned to be imaginative. So while the number of minors and power plays per game has gradually slipped, the "obstruction" calls still are numerous.

In Edmonton, when the Sabres' Rob Ray and the Oilers' Georges Laraque twice get into scraps at Skyreach Centre on Nov. 1, they don't draw fighting majors. Instead, both times they're called for "obstruction roughing."

Other calls made that week are "obstruction boarding," "obstruction charging," "obstruction cross-checking," "obstruction elbowing," "obstruction head-butting," "obstruction butt-ending" and the always-popular "obstruction too many men on the ice."

NHL referees have stopped reading Bettman's and Van Hellemond's e-mails. When pressed, they claim either that the server is down, their laptop has a virus, or they thought they were being spammed.

November 12
Only six NHL head coaches have been fired in the first five weeks, which of course is less than the usual rate in the high-turnover league. But all six of the deposed coaches say that the early crackdown on obstruction negatively affected their teams more than others.

November 20
Four of the five games are 0-0 ties. Mario Lemieux's overtime goal in the fifth game, a relative shootout, gives the Penguins a 1-0 victory.

November 21
All 22 fans in a luxury box in the MCI Center fall asleep during the second period of the Wild-Capitals game and sports networks have fun showing a tape of the mass hibernation.

Bettman claims the fans must have been watching CSPAN on the televisions in the box, and not the game.

December 5
After taking a straw poll of writers likely to vote in the Hart Trophy balloting, "Hockey Night in Canada" announces that if the season ended today, Jarome Iginla would win the MVP award that eluded him on a tiebreaker the previous season. It's an obvious choice, because Iginla again is the runaway leader in goal scoring. Through 26 games, he has nine.

Bettman claims that the players adjusted to the crackdown on obstruction, and that referees are being no less vigilant than they were early in the season.

But it's the same old stuff.

Hearing all of this upon the return of his time machine, H.G. Wells withdraws his bid for an expansion franchise.

Back to the present? Until they prove they really do mean it this time, we remain skeptical.

Terry Frei is a regular contributor to ESPN.com. His book, "Horns, Hogs, and Nixon Coming," will be published by Simon and Schuster in December. It can be pre-ordered from Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com.