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Monday, March 17
Updated: May 15, 2:38 PM ET
 
Thawing out from a long, cold winter

By John Buccigross
Special to ESPN.com

Dude,
Quit petting your otter and write your column.
Steve Winters
Austin, Texas

OK, dude.

It's been a long, cold winter. From a tireless search of all immediate family members of Penguins defenseman Dick Tarnstrom, to raising thy otter, Ken, to incessant shoveling of the backyard rink.

SHOT OF THE WEEK
This week, we introduce a new feature in the column -- Shot of the Week. Every week we will present an NHL photo and I'll provide a caption. E-mail me your suggestions and next week we will use best ones and provide a new photo.


Vinny Prospal to Ben Clymer:
"It's OK, it's called a sellout. These people are your friends."
Well, Tarnstrom is no longer Sundbyberg, Sweden's answer to Bobby Orr, Ken is potty trained, and the rink is now a giant, rectangle Slurpee.

A lot has gone on during the four months we've been asunder:

  • Forecheckers are once again allowed to be impeded by defensemen after they or someone else dumps the puck in…

  • Water skiing is back -- the art of putting a stick on a player without the puck while your skates are not moving and having that player pull you through the neutral zone. The NHL can deny this until they are blue in the face, butt, and feet, however, it's blatantly obvious things are not as they were in the beginning of the year…

  • Garth Snow had a gigantic isosceles triangle implanted into his torso. He looks like a Star Trek extra. Star Trek ll: The Garth of Khan, Star Trek lll: The Search for Net, Star Trek Vl: The Undiscovered Five-Hole…

  • When wearing a hockey helmet, Milan Hejduk and Brian Savage are still separated at birth…

  • For much of the year, Peter Forsberg was using an orange Synergy stick for the first and second periods, and a silver one for the third. Recently, I've noticed it's been orange for the whole game…

  • Two teams declared bankruptcy and the Penguins don't seem far behind. A very reliable source told me that the Penguins had to make the Alexei Kovalev trade in order to make payroll the rest of the year.
    Three things:
    1. How can Mario NOT play next season with the American Hockey League team the Penguins now have on the ice?
    2. How can the Penguins survive if they can't even handle a $30 million payroll? Will a new rink really fix that?
    3. Mario should sell his stake in the team and sign a three-year, $30 million deal with the Rangers. He still gets his money, and he can play with Kovalev and Bobby Holik and take over the captaincy from Mark Messier, who for some reason -- I can't even begin to fathom in my small hockey mind -- kills penalties for the Rangers … 42-year-old forwards shouldn't kill penalties…

  • New Pete Yorn CD out April 15…

  • NHL 2Night isn't on five nights a week anymore. But, once the playoffs start, NHL 2Night will be on five nights a week, six or seven some weeks. ESPN, ESPN 2 and ABC has complete coverage of the Stanley Cup playoffs… Talks between ESPN/ABC and the NHL start July 1…

  • The NHL has one of the tightest rookie of the year races in years. Henrik Zetterberrrrrrrrg (good John Housman name) is beginning to pull away. Next week we'll hand out postseason awards. Here's an early one for you. Selke? Wes Walz. Hands down…

  • As far as watching a guy just skate, his form and style, my favorites are still Mike Modano, Kris Draper, Ilya Kovalchuk, Markus Nasland, and Mathieu Dandenault…

  • Want a good book to read? Try "The Tipping Point," by Malcolm Gladwell…

  • Make the nets six inches wider and four inches higher – that's one extra puck on each side of the goaltender and a little taller than a 1982 Darcy Rota O-Pee-Chee hockey card. And it won't throw out all the record books, either. Howie Morenz, Dit Clapper, Maurice Richard, Gordie Howe, Stan Mikita, Jocelyn Guevremont, Hakan Loob and Wayne Gretzky all had more net to shoot at than Jeff Heerema and Jarome Iginla. Increasing the size of the net would not be discernible to the eye and scoring wouldn't explode. It would allow for a few more goals, especially the beautiful ones -- the down the wing slap shot that sends a jolt through the body. Hockey is a sport of jolts…

  • Put the nets back where they were and take out the red line, and the game will be fine for the rest of the century…

  • Someone sprinkled Chia-Pet seeds on Coyote head coach Bob Francis' face…

  • And I still want to hit a Titleist off of Marc Crawford's hair.

    Predictions revisited
    Five and a half months ago, in this space, I offered my educated guesses for this NHL season. To save you time going through the archives, here's what we thought in early October. We'll do the East this week, West next week.

    Eastern Conference
    Florida Panthers
    Predicted: 15th
    Likely: 11th
    Preview: "I would buy season tickets to watch Bouwmeester skate 41 times a year."
    Verdict: Olli Jokinen's unexpected breakout season kept them out of the cellar.

    Atlanta Thrashers
    Predicted: 14th
    Likely: 14th
    Preview: "I thought the Thrashers made a major mistake not drafting Rick Nash."
    Verdict: I still believe that. But this team will be a factor overnight.

    Buffalo Sabres
    Predicted: 13th
    Likely: 13th
    Preview: "Unless strong ownership comes in quickly, you just get the sense that things could fall apart."
    Verdict: Maxim Afinogenov's injury hurt their offense, and they are young and getting younger, which is not a good sign. At least they have the strong ownership, and that's a start.

    Tampa Bay Lightning
    Predicted: 12th
    Likely: 3rd or 7th
    Preview: "They should improve on their 69 points from last season, but this team is still a ways away from the playoffs."
    Verdict: Oops. Right now (on March 16), the Bolts have the fewest road wins among playoff teams. But they are taking care of business at home, have structure, good goaltending and the most important factor any team can have, health. They've been very healthy.

    Boston Bruins
    Predicted: 11th
    Likely: 6th or 7th
    Preview: "If they make a good trade involving Kyle McLaren, they could become a playoff team again."
    Verdict: Jeff Hackett has been what he's been for his career -- average. The Bruins are a playoff team because Joe Thornton is the best center in the NHL and because of their blistering start. Sergei Samsonov should be back in a week to 10 days.

    Pittsburgh Penguins
    Predicted: 10th
    Likely: 15th
    Preview: "If Mario plays 75 games and Johan Hedberg has a .920 save percentage, the Penguins have a shot."
    Verdict: The most gamess Mario can play is 70 and Hedberg's save percentage is under .900. The Pens will likely finish last in the league and will have the best shot at the No. 1 pick in the draft. Just the like the summer before Mario arrived.

    Montreal Canadiens
    Predicted: 9th
    Likely: 9th
    Preview: "Jose Theodore may have had the best season he will ever have last season. It's just a hunch they will just miss (the playoffs) this season."
    Verdict: Theodore has been spotty and their key offensive guys have been quiet.

    New York Islanders
    Predicted: 8th
    Likely: 8th
    Preview: "They will not get 96 points this year. Michael Peca will miss 15-25 games to start the season and that will prevent the Islanders from getting off to a fast start."
    Verdict: Peca missed 15 games and the Isles will be in the 80s points-wise. Alexi Yashin is such a poor skater he can't create any space for himself. He's probably better off at a wing playing with a fast skating center where he can hang around the perimeter and use his lethal shot. As usual, he's played every game.

    Carolina Hurricanes
    Predicted: 7th
    Likely: 12th
    Preview: "Their margin for error is very small. The Hurricanes made the playoffs because they got to overtime 21 times and stayed relatively healthy."
    Verdict: The Hurricanes won 13 games in overtime last year. As I type this they've won two. They've been a little banged up as well, and for a team with little margin for error, injuries and no key goals equal mediocrity.

    Toronto Maple Leafs
    Predicted: 6th
    Likely: 5th
    Preview: "The Leafs won't get 100 points this year, but they are still a very solid team and certainly a playoff one."
    Verdict: The parts are in place. A little old, a little undisciplined, a little thin on the blue line and a first-round matchup with either Philadelphia or New Jersey. They might have to go through Philly, Ottawa and New Jersey to reach the final. Dicey.

    New Jersey Devils
    Predicted: 5th
    Likely: 2nd
    Preview: "If they can finish, they will be dangerous, but I'm skeptical they have enough scoring wingers."
    Verdict: Jamie Langenbrunner and Jeff Friesen have been good and Martin Brodeur will win his first Vezina. They are on the edge of not having enough goal scoring, and not getting any at the deadline will cost them a Cup run.

    Philadelphia Flyers
    Predicted: 4th
    Likely: 4th
    Preview: "The Flyers are certainly one of the teams that could win the East."
    Verdict: Bobby Clark has done a nice job tinkering with the lineup. Marcus Ragnarsson and Tony Amonte were upgrades and this team, if Simon Gagne comes back, will be as complete as any. Their issue is the same as the Leafs: a possible tough grind with a lot of players over 30.

    Washington Capitals
    Predicted: 3rd
    Likely: 3rd of 7th
    Preview: "Does Jaromir Jagr care?"
    Verdict: And is he healthy? Olaf Kolzig is and he's been good. They need their offense to be on their game because this team does not resemble a tightly knit, defensive playoff hockey team.

    Ottawa Senators
    Predicted: 2nd
    Likely: 1st
    Preview: "Their question marks are goaltending and centermen … should be enough to get them near 100 points." Verdict: Try about 108-110 points. Everything points to the final. They score, they defend, and they are young. They are fast enough, big enough and gritty enough. Their issue has always been their youth. Daniel Alfredsson is a leader.

    New York Rangers
    Predicted: 1st
    Likely: 10th
    Preview: "If Glen Sather can pull off a trade to get a scoring winger and another mobile defenseman, the Rangers would have enough to win the East and get to the final."
    Verdict: Major Oops. The Rangers were weak at wing going in. They should have made the Kovalev trade in October. Holik was hurt to start the season, Eric Lindros was average, their starting goalie got hurt, they had another inexperienced coach, then Pavel Bure got hurt before the Kovalev trade and the incomparable Brian Leetch missed 21 games. Injuries, coaching instability, and not playing desperate hockey until February means no playoffs again.

    Last month I took my 10-year-old son Brett and his South Windsor Squirt A teammate David O'Connor to Burlington, Vt., to visit the University of Vermont Catamounts on the invitation of assistant coach Damian DiGiulian. The boys skated with the team during the morning skate and went to the game that night against Brown. In between, we hung out at Sam Schneider's house and saw scrapbooks and mementos of his son's hockey career. Sam is the father of Mathieu Schneider, Red Wings defenseman and fan and friend of Adam Duritz of Counting Crows. The reason I bring up Duritz is that I find he and Schneider to be similar creatures – they've both had early success (Stanley Cup for Schneider in 1993), have all-around competence, sustained excellence, and are under appreciated. I thought the Crows last CD, "Hard Candy," was their finest yet and that Schneider was the final piece in the Red Wings' quest to repeat. But many know nothing about the American-born blueliner. He skates fast and talks slowly.

    Mathieu Schneider, No. 10 in L.A. but No. 23 in Detroit, has learned not to get attached to numbers.
    No. 1: When was the last time you talked to Adam Duritz?
    Schneider:
    It's funny you asked. He called me after my first game with the Wings against Phoenix and he was out of the country. He said, 'I turned on the TV and you were in a Detroit Red Wings uniform. I just learned that I am a huge Detroit Red Wings fan.'

    The Crows are touring with John Mayer this summer in the U.S. I think John Mayer is the Dan Fogelberg of the 21st century.

    No. 2: What was the first thing you noticed playing with the Red Wings that you didn't notice playing against them?
    Schneider:
    Probably their depth. That line of (Brett) Hull, (Pavel) Datsyuk and (Henrik) Zetterberg is unbelievable. You've got four lines that play a puck control game. I think it's such a talented team, everybody plays the same way.

    Mathieu was a third-round pick by the Montreal Canadiens in the 1987 draft. He turns 34 on June 12. Next year is the final year of his contract.

    No. 3: You recently stated how much fun it was to play hockey where the coach encourages you to hold the puck and make plays, not to just get rid of it. How much fun is that?
    Schneider
    : For me, it's a breath of fresh air. Coaches are always yelling, 'Dump it in!' There's a lot of pressure to win and the theory here is that the more you have the puck the better defense it is. It's really how I enjoy playing and I've tried to play that way as much as I can in other systems. Andy Murray was as free thinking as far as that is concerned, but nothing like it is here.

    When Mathieu was 4, his dad used him a lot in his hockey clinics as a model because Mathieu could skate backward.

    No. 4: Why did you choose No. 23 in Detroit?
    Schneider:
    Nothing special. There were not a lot of numbers to choose from -- 22, 23 and 28 were my options.

    No. 5: One of the things your dad mentioned was that he told you and your brother, J.A., to never get attached to a uniform number. How many numbers have you had in your NHL career?
    Schneider:
    Wow. I had three in Montreal -- 8, 18 and 27. I was 72 in Toronto. I had two numbers in New York, 25 and 21. No.10 in Los Angeles, and now 23. Eight numbers.

    Mathieu might get into homebuilding when his career is over.

    No. 6: You've now played on four of the Original Six teams. Is that still as big a deal as it was in the past?
    Schneider:
    "It's as important as it once was. There are a lot of other teams that have had success over the last few years. I think players want to go to a team that wants to win and there are only about seven or eight teams that are really going for it over the last few years."

    Mathieu skates with Graf skates and uses a Louisville stick.

    No. 7: What's a typical day for you in the summer?
    Schneider:
    Lately, it's get up with the kids and try to entertain them most of the day. Back in California, we have a pool and we hang out there a lot. Last summer we hung out with Rob Blake, and his wife and baby who is the same age of our daughter.

    For home games, Mathieu eats chocolate chip pancakes the day of games. His best buddies in hockey right now are Bryan Smolinski and Mattias Norstrom.

    No. 8: Besides a chance for the Cup, what's the best thing about being a Red Wing?
    Schneider:
    Probably the guys in the dressing room. There's several Hall of Famers in there. There isn't another team like it in the league.

    John,
    I recently bought and read Jack Falla's book, "Home Ice." I loved it. There is another book I heard about, I think it's entitled "Ice Time," by a guy named Atkinson. Have you heard of it?
    Ron

    "Ice Time: A Tale of Fathers, Sons, and Hometown Heroes," by Jay Atkinson. Good read.

    By the way, it was a record year on the backyard rink. More than 30 days of skating. Last year, during the "Burma winter", we had six days. Jack Falla has a new coffee table book on the history of the Stanley Cup that is excellent.

    John,
    I just purchased a Columbus Blue Jacket jersey and I want to get it customized. Marc Denis or Rick Nash?
    Jeff
    Mt. Pleasant, Mich.

    No brainer. What Robert Sledge was to Ben Folds Five, Rick Nash is to the Blue Jackets. He will be Mr. Blue Jacket when all is said and done. He will play 20 years, score 527 goals, have 503 assists, raise the Stanley Cup in 2013 and bring it to Steak and Shake where he will fill it with raw meat and sing an Alice in Chains medley.

    Dear John,
    I am a casual hockey fan that dabbles in standup comedy at Florida State University. I don't think there is a bigger joke than the Rangers in the NHL. What the heck are they doing?? Perhaps one day they can catch the Pinstripes in payroll. And what's up with Jags owing debts? You need to start some sort of Pete Rose-like nickname. Also, one comment on the deadline deals: If Osgood ends up playing Detroit in the playoffs he will be known the world wide as Os-suck. I'm sure Sergei & Co. know his weaknesses better than an Ivana Trump-like ex-wife. I saw Brian Holzinger scored in his Pens debut. I guess since it's been rough with the ladies lately here in Tallahassee, I should try to get on a line with Mario, maybe then I can finally score.
    Adrian McPherson for president.
    WERD
    Josh

    MY PEOPLE!!! IT"S GREAT TO BE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    LATE.

    John Buccigross is the host of NHL 2Night, which airs on ESPN2. His e-mail address -- for questions, comments or cross-checks -- is john.buccigross@espn.com.





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