A spatula is a small implement with a broad, flat, flexible blade that is used to mix, spread, or lift soft material. Like Jennifer Lopez CDs. (If you ever catch me buying a J-Lo CD, send Bryan Marchment after my knees immediately.)

	Canada's first gold since 1952 was appreciated -- and understood -- south of the border, too.

For the first twenty years of my life I thought the correct pronunciation of spatula was "SPATCH-LER." You see, I was raised in Middle America (my definition of Middle America is everything west of third base in Williamsport, Pa., and everything east of Downstairs at Eric's bar in Breckenridge, Colo.) by a mom who was raised in Dorchester, Mass., and a dad who was raised in South Boston. My dad has qualities similar to Matt Damon's character in the South Boston-based film "Good Will Hunting." (Five star soundtrack because of the music of Elliot Smith. As unique and brilliant as the vision of Adam Oates.)

WARNING: THE PARENTHESIS POLICE HAVE BEEN WARNED OF YOUR BLATANT OVERUSE OF QUALIFYING REMARKS WITHIN CURVED BORDERS. YOUR WRITING HAS THE FLOW OF A PANTHERS-PREDATORS GAME ANYWAY, DON'T POLLUTE IT FURTHER WITH ADJUNCTIVE, STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS, FIN ROT. IN THE NAME OF JOSEPH CONRAD, STOP!! (Speaking of Joseph Conrad, whenever I wake up to a sunny day in June, his line from Heart of Darkness -- "The sky, without a speck, was a benign immensity of unstained light." -- is the first thing my mind processes. I read that line in 1984, and I've never forgotten it. Last week, I forgot my Social Security Number. OK, I promise. No more parenthesis.)

My dad, Ed or The Big E, as we call him, was born during the Depression, so the toughness of life and neighborhood was even more extreme than Will and Chuckie's. Dad hit a baseball two counties long, threw a football almost as far, and played high school hockey goalie with no mask. And like Will Hunting, Ed was and still is good with numbers, majoring in math at Boston College. He's not an accountant, but he does my taxes every year. Also, like Will, Chuckie and Morgan, my dad talks funny. You know, "Pahhk the cahhh," funny. I was popular growing up in Middle America because friends liked coming over to my house to listen to my parents talk. Bobby Orr was a great "Skate-AHH," Bobby Hull was a great "Shoot-AHH," and Dave Schultz was a great "Enforce-AHHH."

I had to constantly translate on the fly. Skate-ahh was skater. Shoot-ahh was shooter. Enforce-ahh was enforcer. Therefore, all my life, using my translation techniques necessary to exist in my non-ER childhood, I always assumed since my parents said, "Spatch-lahh," that the word was pronounced, "Spatch-ler." Yep, the ol' reverse psychology. And since people SAY the word spatula out loud ... like ... never, it wasn't until my Heidelberg College years that I heard a farm boy say "spatch-lahh." It was an epiphany.

Things are not always what they seem or how OUR minds perceive them. This is a message to the minority of my Canadian e-mailers who think most of my fellow Americans and I are hockey idiots. Understand that I return complimentary e-mails from Canada with a similar message: "Getting a compliment from you fills me with a satisfaction I can't describe." I mean that. The respect I have for the love and understanding Canada has for hockey is as big as one of those odd shaped, humongous, Tim Horton doughnuts. I feel it when I watch Hockey Night in Canada. It warms me on cold Saturday nights. CBC covers hockey better than anyone. But, love aside, hockey does not have a secret formula that only those in Canada understand or love. It is a simple game. Anyone can play. However, to excel, you have to sacrifice and be fiercely relentless, athletic, courageous and smart. Those are qualities anyone in any corner of the earth may possess. If there is enough ice and sacrificial parents that love, a four-year-old boy in Fiji could become the next Steve Yzerman. There are American servicemen in the Persian Gulf, working women in Boston, and working men in Sweden who love hockey as you do. The drop of the puck is like Christmas morning or the first day of school or quarter draft nights in the 1980s.

For all the great things the Olympics wrought, it brought out a lot of negative Canadian hockey nationalism: Europeans are inferior because they aren't tough, they take cheap shots, and play harder for their country than their NHL teams; Americans don't understand the game, are trying to change the game without thought in the NHL office, and were deliberately negative in the Olympic media because they hate Canada. And there were bogus reports of the USA women's team stomping on a Canadian flag in the locker room. Simple, wholesome values make life worth living and hockey worth playing. Hockey brings people together. Prying oneself from the whole, in the name of country, by grandstanding and demeaning goes against every sweet value the game is glued to. Pound for pound, Canada probably DOES win the hockey award for strongest community thread. But, the game shouldn't be seen through those lenses. It all comes back to the kid with a Koho and his love of competition. Start there, and don't give a Ken Linesman's you-know-what where he's from. If he loves the game and adheres to the values, he's on our side.

The first time I met Chris Drury was in a bathroom. Let me explain. The Avs were holding a party at the Chop House in Denver the night they beat the Devils in Game 7 of last year's Stanley Cup finals. I had strategically placed myself behind the Barry Melrose posse and walked to the back room, joining Avalanche players, friends, the Stanley Cup and an assortment of invited guests that included 1982 Masters Champion Craig Stadler. Someone took a picture of me and Stadler each holding one end of the Stanley Cup over our heads. I don't know who took the lost photo and I've never seen the picture. What I would give for that.

	After going 7-10-17 in his first 41 games, Chris Drury scored 11-8-19 in his next 21.

It was an awesome night. Shjon Podein came to the party in COMPLETE UNIFORM -- skates and all. Ray Bourque's smile wrapped around his head three times. Peter Forsberg took a picture of the Cup with his dad.

Bathroom breaks are required when attending parties such as these, and I took one. As I walked in, Drury was walking out. Some television hosts and reporters have favorite players, too, and mine is Drury. He has won a Little League World Series, an assortment of junior hockey championships, a prep school title at Fairfield Prep, an NCAA championship at Boston University, the 1998 Hobey Baker Memorial Award, the 1999 Calder Trophy as the NHL's rookie of the year, and a Stanley Cup. He turns 26 in August. He plays the game like I would like to play it and how I like to watch it.

So, when I walked into the Chop House bathroom and saw Drury, I said something like, "Dude, I think you're awesome."

Afterwards, I realized a men's bathroom is not the place to throw around words of praise. Thankfully, Chris agreed to talk to me again last week. Over the phone. He remembered the awkward meeting and erased much of my shame about it when he said that, after we parted ways, one of his buddies said to him, "Hey, that's the 'twisted wrister' dude!"

No. 1: Has this been a frustrating season for you or are you OK with it?
Drury: I think the first half was pretty frustrating. I think I got caught in a rut offensively and I took a while to get out of it. We played Nashville on New Year's Day and that was the start of our final 41 games. I decided to put the first 41 behind me and start fresh that day. Since then, things seem to be back to normal and I feel the way I have in the past.

Chris had a goal on the first day of 2002. In his first 21 games of the second half of the season he had 11 goals and 8 assists -- 19 points in 21 games.

No. 2: Of all the awards and titles you've won in your life, what one means the most?
Drury: The Stanley Cup. It was an unbelievable ride.

The last movie Chris saw was "A Beautiful Mind." He loved it.

No. 3: How do you prepare for a game? Do you meditate? Music? Drugs?
Drury: No drugs! I use music to get me going while I drive to the game. Right now, it's U2's latest. Rick Berry is our locker room deejay. I don't know a lot of the stuff he plays. It's all pretty hip and current.

Chris was watching "Sex and the City" with his girlfriend when I called to do the interview.

No. 4: How do you view being the winning pitcher on Trumbull's Little League World Series team?
Drury: It's something that I take MORE pride in as time goes by. I realize how hard it is to accomplish.

Chris is a New York Yankees fan. He once took batting practice at Fenway Park and had no trouble clearing the Green Monster. Chris is 5-foot-10, 180 pounds. Bucky Dent was 5-10, 180.

No. 5: Do you think Peter Forsberg will make it back this year for the playoffs?
Drury: I think he will. Medically, I have no idea where he is, but I just think his heart and determination, and how hard he and the trainers are working him, if I had to guess, I would say he would be back.

No. 6: There was a Bill Guerin trade rumor out there for a while. How do you deal with trade rumors?
Drury: Since I've been here, there has been talk of a couple of trades involving Chelios and then Lecavalier and then Bourque. I've been through it before. I may talk to my agent, but it's part of the job when you play pro sports.

Chris's contract runs through next year.

No. 7: What do you want to do with your life after hockey?
Drury: I really want to get back into baseball somehow. It's something I thought about and played whenever I could up to age 18. It's been hard not to have it. I have friends who still play in senior leagues and coach. I think I might like to coach someday. I was into to baseball very seriously until I hurt my wrist. I had surgery and missed my entire junior year. I couldn't play baseball for a year and a half. That made my baseball/hockey decision easier.

Chris spends his summers in Boston. He likes to catch stripers and bluefish off the shore and plays a little golf. Last summer, he and his brother, Ted, hosted the sixth annual Travis Roy Golf Tournament in Orange, Conn.

No. 8: Do you think you ever could have played Major League Baseball?
Drury: I don't know. At that point, I was pretty young and pretty small. A different injury and a different direction, maybe.

He could have been another Bucky Bleeping Dent.

Defense wins championships. So do offensive defensemen who play defense. Raymond Bourque may have been the best offensive defenseman ever who played defense. He was two players in one, which is why his teams were often good. Teams who don't have defensemen who can move the puck and generate offense on the power play will have problems in the playoffs. Boston and San Jose are two teams that lack a dynamic defenseman who can produce some offense in support of a strong group of forwards. Brad Stuart is getting closer in San Jose. Edmonton's Tom Poti is the kind of player both teams could really use. The trade deadline is next Tuesday at 3 p.m. ET. These five would make any team better.

	Lidstrom

1. Nicklas Lidstrom, Detroit Red Wings: He's off last year's offensive pace, but he is still the class of the league at his position. A big reason why the Wings have been the best team this year.

2. Rob Blake, Colorado Avalanche: Has a chance to lead defensemen in scoring. Big power-play threat. Throws in physical play to give the Avs' blue line some territorial presence.

3. Sergei Gonchar, Washington Capitals: He will finish with close to 30 goals. In this day and age of low-scoring games, that's pretty impressive. However, there are too many good defensemen in the league for him to win the Norris on scoring alone. Then again, put him on almost any other team in the league and he changes their whole face.

4. Brian Leetch, New York Rangers: Led defensemen in power-play assists when the week started. I'd like to see him play with Detroit or Colorado for a month. Imagine a blockbuster deal involving the Rangers and Sharks. Adding Leetch to the Sharks would bring them a lot closer to the Wings and Avs. The Sharks are a blast to watch. More on them next week.

5. Chris Chelios, Detroit Red Wings: I wanted to put Phil Housley here, or Kim Johnsson, or Chris Pronger, but how can we ignore the year the 40-year-old Chelios is having? He was a plus-41 when the week began, and he's the guy the enforcer-less Wings count on to provide a lot of the energy-sapping gritty stuff. Strange that in 180 games as a Wing, he has one power play goal. He's a personality that stands out in a locker room full of them. That's saying something.

The NHL mandates that during television timeouts the snow that accumulates along the benches and around the nets be removed for faster, truer hockey. Most rinks employ out-of-shape adult males to perform the task. The New York Islanders send out college girls in tight outfits. Advantage Islanders.

	Lauren, one of six Ice Girls, clears the Nassau Coliseum ice.

Tim Beach is in charge of game operations at Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum and came up with the idea. "When I worked with Anaheim, we had a girl group called the Power Players," said Beach. "They didn't skate, but we thought it would be cool if they did. They could remove the snow out on the ice. When I came to the Islanders last January someone mentioned having cheerleaders. That's when I mentioned the Ice Girls idea."

After ownership approval, the plan was put in action. Knowing that the fan base was traditional, Beach wanted strong skaters. Tryouts were held in the summer and about 25 girls showed up. The Islanders chose four and have since added two more to perform the shoveling and other game operation activities. All have figure skating backgrounds. The response?

"The reaction has been positive from the commissioner's office, to other teams, all the way down to the players," says Beach. "The Ice Girls are here to stay. We're probably the first big domino. We've gotten calls from several other teams about the process and I'm sure you'll see other teams incorporating Ice Girls next season."

All six of the Islanders Ice Girls are in college. I talked with Lauren. She said Ice Girls are not supposed to give out last names. Alexei Yashin can give out his last name, but for Lauren, it's apparently too much of a security breach. I played along.

Lauren grew up on Long Island and attends St. Joseph's College. She is 19 years old. The oldest Ice Girl is 22.

"I teach figure skating and my boss gave me a flier to go," said Lauren. "I'm very much into entertaining. This isn't what I expected, but I'm having a lot of fun."

Lauren and the other Ice Girls arrive 90 minutes to two hours before game time. They spend the time getting dressed, sharpening their shovels, making sure everything is in order, and rolling t-shirts that will be shot from hand-held cannons during the intermissions. That's when grown men dive over defenseless babies to get their beer-stained hands on a $6 t-shirt. It's America at her finest.

But back to the Ice Girls.

One Islander player told me that when the San Jose Sharks were in town last October, rookie Jeff Jillson was caught blatantly eyeing the Ice Girls while they shoveled. Jillson is just 21 himself, so you can see how he would take comfort in the world of the Ice Girl. Then again, can't we all? The Ice Girls can take our minds off our everyday trials and tribulations, while we take part in what should be a long standing NHL tradition; watching young women in lycra shoveling snow without becoming distracted. Jillson was fine. He was able to enjoy the pageantry of the first-name-only Ice Girls and finished the game a plus-1.

John,
My name is Kevin Cook and I am in the U.S. Navy. I just wanted to thank you for your articles that have kept me entertained for the last 5½ months while I have been deployed to the Persian Gulf in support of operation Enduring Freedom. There is nothing I look forward to more than going to ESPN.com and looking for your newest article.
Sincerely,
Kevin Cook
Informations System
Technician 2nd Class
USN

This message, coming from someone like Kevin and his mission, is the greatest set of words I've ever received. I will frame this, hang it in my basement and look at it whenever I feel guilty and remorseful that my job means nothing.

John,
You are an IDIOT.
Doug
Ottawa, Canada

I will frame this in my basement and look at it whenever I feel a sense of entitlement and privilege because I hold an all-important sports television job and my job means everything.

	Bettman

	Cechmanek

	Mr. Bean

John,
Is it me or does Gary Bettman look like Mr. Bean?
Billy Nauman
Tallahassee, Fla.

No. The annual winner of the Mr. Bean look a like contest is Roman Cechmanek of the Philadelphia Flyers.

John,
Which player would you take in the draft if you were the Atlanta Thrashers GM? Jay Bouwmeester or Rick Nash?
Dave Lane
Thrasherville

Many feel these two are the top players in a draft that won't be nearly as deep as last year's. Some question Bouwmeester's intellect and personality as a guy who doesn't step up. That being said he is 6-4, 208, and moves like a guy half his size. He is the ABSOLUTE clear cut No. 1 pick of the Thrashers.

John,
You mentioned last week you always wanted Bruce Driver to wear No. 8 so he would have "Driver 8" on the back of his uniform after the REM song. I always though the perfect uniform number for Mike Commodore would be 64.
Marc Nathan
Santa Monica, Calif.

John,
I watched a ton of Olympic hockey and loved it, but I have one major question. Were those CHEERLEADERS at those hockey games? Who's brilliant idea was THAT? There are no cheerleaders in hockey!! Did that disturb you as much as it did me?
Wendy
University of Pennsylvania

Yes Wendy!! The thought of attractive, outgoing, enthusiastic women in great shape jumping up and down DISTURBS ME TO NO END!!!!

John,
Do you think the Flames will give up on Jarome Iginla if they continue to spiral out of the playoff race? What "big name" guys on non-competitive teams do you think are most likely to be moved?
Thanks,
Patrick Powell

The Flames will lose Mike Vernon's and Igor Kravchuk's contract after the year, which will help in their attempt to re-sign Iginla to a multiyear deal after his deal ends this year. Iginla makes $1.7 million this year, and turns 25 in July. After his 50-goal season this year, his agent probably wants to jump to $7-8 million. Let's hope Jarome does his part for Calgary and signs a two-year, $10-million deal. That takes Calgary to the end of the current Collective Bargaining Agreement. Then we can see if the NHL has a plan for a Canadian market like Calgary. If they do, fine. If not, he'll be a restricted free agent in search of a five-year, $40 million deal. If they still have those then. Plus, the Flames still will get something in return. The biggest name player on a team with a poor record who could be dealt is Pavel Bure.

John,
"PANG-in Around" by Counting Crows.
Christopher Smith

It's time for Pang to have his separate link. That way, after we publish a new entry periodically, you can click on an icon for the complete anthology of PANG. Our goal remains 365 so we can publish a "PANG A DAY" calendar. Look for the link soon. Counting Crows are playing together again. Adam Duritz is a hockey fan. We'll talk to him soon in SOUNDBOARD.

John,
I need some help. I'm organizing a new hockey team and I pretty much have everything covered, except for picking a team name. I can't come up with anything good. Could you help me out?
Alex

My favorite part of college was picking names for our vast array of intramural teams. Confused Antelopes and Korean Ligaments are two I remember. As far as your hockey team, Alex? Cat Butt, Cliff Claven's God, and Skankmonsters are all acceptable. However, when choosing a hockey team name, none is better than Hakan and the Loobs.

John,
I was saddened to hear of the loss of Barry Melrose's mother. I watch NHL 2Night all the time and you guys are like second family. Please pass on to Barry and his entire family our thoughts and prayers.
Thank you,
Ira Dubin
Elmendorf Air Force Base
Anchorage, Alaska

Last Thursday, Barry's mother, Norrie, passed away in Canada. Barry lost his father a few years ago, as well. The greatest moments in life are a family expanding, and the worst are a family diminishing. The volume and force of Barry's famous laugh has a lot to do with all of life he internalizes. That laugh may have extra force the next few weeks as he bereaves the death of the person who gave him life.

John Buccigross is the host of NHL 2Night, which airs Tuesday-Saturday on ESPN2. His e-mail address -- for questions, comments or crosschecks -- is john.buccigross@espn.com.