I couldn't believe it when I heard that the Los Angeles Lakers lost Game 2 of the Western Conference finals because they went to a strip club the night before.

I mean, I knew this sort of thing happened in the NBA. Hey, I've covered both Patrick Ewing and Horace Grant, two of the more notorious strip-clubbers in the league. When I covered Ewing, I just couldn't believe he would stoop to something so low as the Gold Club. I thought for sure he was a Platinum Club sort of guy.

	Will the next officiating crew not acknowledge foul play by Shaquille O'Neal?

But for Shaquille O'Neal to admit that the Lakers lost that game to the Sacramento Kings because of a bunch of strippers. I mean, it's right there, Shaq saying after the game the only way to beat the Lakers "starts with a C and ends with a T."

Cabaret? For the love of God.

I racked my brain trying to come up with the cabaret in Sacramento to which he was referring. I had never been there, of course, because my wife told me if she ever caught me in a cabaret, she would slice off my ...

Which brings us back to this whole Western Conference Finals thing.

So I worked for nearly 10 minutes one day trying to figure out which cabaret the Lakers had patronized when someone told me that Shaq was talking about cheating. I should have known it was not cabaret Shaq was hinting at. After all, he misspelled "period" a few years back.

Then I thought about it. Cheat. I don't think the officials cheat. I just think they stink.

No, not stink when the Kings win. Not stink when the Lakers win. Stink all around.

Let me say first off, the refs have one of the most difficult jobs in sports. I tried officiating an NBA practice a few years ago, and it is incredible all the things that you miss in just a practice, which is probably about 70 percent the speed of an actual game. On the other hand, it's their jobs. Don't go out there if you can't handle it.

I thought the officiating stunk in Game 1, and I thought it was pretty bad in Game 2, as well.

I mean, how does Doug Christie get his nose knocked to the back side of his head by Kobe Bryant's elbow like only his nose was playing The Exorcist, and Christie gets called for a foul? How does Scot Pollard play defense with his arms straight up in the air, the way NBA players are taught, block Kobe's shot cleanly and get called for a foul? How does Kobe drive the middle with the ball wrapped up like a football, get both arms ripped away by two different Kings players and hear nothing but cheers from the crowd because no whistles are blown?

All we're asking for is a little consistency. If a player gets fouled driving the lane, call it. If you are going to call ticky-tack fouls on the perimeter, call it.

But don't call a guy for a foul 25 feet from the basket for having his pinkie on an offensive player's back, then swallow the whistle when a guy gets hammered by three players while driving to the rack. It just makes the officials look silly. Bernie Fryer, I'm talking to you.

I've watched this game long enough to know the tenets of officiating. You call a foul if it affects the outcome of the play, otherwise you allow the game to flow. That's why you sometimes hear late whistles; the official is waiting to see if the foul affected the outcome of the play. But this series, at least thus far, seems to have no rhythm to the calls being made.

There is always the underlying theory about what effect television ratings have on officials' calls. A Game 7 between the Lakers and Kings certainly would make a lot of advertising money for NBC in its final season of broadcasting the league. As if Dick Ebersol has a mic that goes directly to a secret service earpiece worn by Dick Bavetta. Advocates of this theory will point to the free-throw discrepancy in Game 2, in which Sacramento got more foul shots in an effort to extend this series. And they would be certain that the Lakers would get the benefit of more calls in a Game 7, because there are more television sets in L.A. than in Sacramento.

	The Lakers, and specifically Shaq, know that Vlade is going to flop. Deal with it. Either put an elbow in his grill on the first play and make him think about it, or change your game.

Generally, I don't buy in that stuff. Players make plays. If you hit your shots, the refs should not have a huge bearing on the game.

But so far in this series, they have had a big impact. Perhaps it was inevitable because of the presence of Shaq, who always straddles that fine line between fouling somebody on offense with a granite elbow, or getting his arms ripped off by all five players on the other team.

Throw in the fact that Vlade Divac flops more often than a Madonna movie, and the job is that much more difficult.

Shaq's second foul in Game 2 was ridiculous. I have no idea what the officials were watching, but he merely caught the ball and was surveying his options when they hit him with the call.

That is what led Phil Jackson to say: "We had a player on his way to a 50-point game, which he's very capable of getting, and he's completely taken out of his game. The rules get changed or requalified because of him. That's no excuse."

No, that's true. But neither is the Lakers' refusal to adjust to Divac. The Lakers, and specifically Shaq, know that Vlade is going to flop. Deal with it. Either put an elbow in his grill on the first play and make him think about it, or change your game.

But don't play right into his hands, then complain about it afterward, like it is this new drama unfolding. He's been doing it for years. Congratulate the guy for adding the move to his repertoire and do something about it.

Unfortunately, the league does not announce beforehand who the officials will be for Game 3, so we can't get a premonition of how the game will be officiated.

I just know it will not be Violet Palmer or Tommy Nunez, because they are a word that begins with an S and ends with a K.

Frank Hughes, who covers the NBA for the Tacoma (Wash.) News-Tribune, is a regular contributor to ESPN.com.