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Lakers won't fool us again
By Frank Hughes
Special to ESPN.com
Conspiracy theory?
What did it matter which Eastern Conference team ended up playing the Los Angeles
Lakers? It's going to be over in four anyway.
|  | | As things have played out, there was nothing for Phil and the Lakers to worry about. |
I'll tell you what the real conspiracy theory is.
It's the Lakers making everybody believe they were in a state of turmoil this
season, that either Kobe Bryant or Shaquille O'Neal was going to be traded
because they could not get along, that Isaiah Rider was going to upset the
already fragile mix of talent on this team, that Phil Jackson's relationship
with daughter de Buss was distracting him from the task at hand, and that he
paid more attention to his new amore than he did to his squabbling charges.
(Speaking of which, if Jeanie and Phil ever got married, would she have to
take his last name, or would he have to take hers? "And introducing the coach
of the two-time world champion Los Angeles Lakers, Phil Buss." Doesn't really
have that ring, does it? Sounds like something that the marketing department
of a city's public transportation division is in charge of.)
In any case, now that the Lakers are about a week and a half away from
officially consummating what already is a foregone conclusion,
it makes me look ahead to next season and wonder if the Lakers' Chicken
Little pleadings are going to be believed over the course of the next 82
games.
I mean, it was easy this season, when the entire Shaq-Kobe feud sprang up, to
understand that it threatened to rip apart the fabric of this team.
After all, the undercurrents of such a dispute have been running strong for
several seasons, and it only took the public comments of one of its
participants -- Shaq -- to bring it to the fore. Well, that, and his father,
Sarge, screaming at Kobe to pass the ball in the middle of a regular-season
game.
It makes me wonder, who would win a no-holds-barred, steel cage match between
Sarge and Allen Iverson's mother, Ann? I think I might have to place my
dinero on Ann, particularly if the match were in Philadelphia. I mean, what
is going to happen if the Lakers win
the series in four or five games? After all, Philadelphia fans beat up
Santa Claus one year, what do you think they are going to do when Shaq and
Kobe go around hugging each other in the middle of the First Union Center
floor?
Which brings me back to my point. If that scene is replayed again this June,
how is anybody going to give any validation to the Lakers' internal quarrels
next season, when any perspective would suggest they could once again act out
whatever childish pranks they want during the regular season, then show up
for a languid coast through the playoffs.
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The Lakers have proven that two great superstars who intensify their game at
the right time, and a bunch of nice role players are more than good enough to
win a championship. |
Kobe and Shaq fighting!!!!
Who cares?
Phil and Jeanie breaking up!!!
Snore.
Derek Fisher wants more shots and more money!!!
Pass the potato chips and get back to me in the first round.
In the most interesting entertainment town in America, aren't the Lakers
going to be (gasp!! No, don't say it!!!) boring?
If Rider could not bring this team down, really, who could?
The only possibility I can think of is maybe Dennis Rodman, and he is a
viable option -- assuming he is not going to Washington -- because Horace
Grant is a free agent and could be heading to Orlando to live in his 21,000
square foot house, and Mark Madsen is simply not going to get the job done.
Hell, Rodman lives right down the road in Newport Beach, and he could just
helicopter in to work each day, perhaps with a rock band announcing his
arrival. He's familiar with Phil Buss, he has to see the similarity between
MJ and Kobe. He could just step right in, collect another ring and prove once
again why he is one of the best power forwards of all time.
Otherwise, the Lakers are fairly uninteresting in a time where some sort of
soap opera needs to be generated to keep everybody's attention.
In all honesty, the Portland Trail Blazers should win the NBA title, on pure
talent alone. But they ascribed to the theory that drama and theatrics make
for a better season, and they simply forgot to break out of that mindset once
the 83rd game of the season started.
The Lakers have proven that two great superstars who intensify their game at
the right time, and a bunch of nice role players are more than good enough to
win a championship.
I saw Shaq miss 14 straight free throws in a game this season, setting an NBA
record for dismal clanks. I saw the Lakers lose all four regular-season games
to the lottery-bound Sonics this season. I saw two cats named Mike Penberthy
and Tyronn Lue play significant roles in the Lakers' regular-season fortunes.
None of that mattered, and none of that will matter next season, either.
How could it? Next time the sky is falling on the Lakers, I'll just try and
remember that Shaq is strong enough to hold it up.
Frank Hughes covers the NBA for the Tacoma (Wash.) News-Tribune. He is a regular contributor to ESPN.com.
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