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Two months into the season and heading into the real new Millennium the die is cast for many in the Eastern Conference, where we emulate the NFL -- broad-based mediocrity and stinky games.
|  | | How much longer will Elton Brand want to put up with extreme losing? |
So, here are the events that will be inscribed into the NBA's history book by the end of the season:
Derrick Coleman will self-destruct in Charlotte. As the Hornets buzz along toward the Central Division title, they've left Dinner Bell Derrick in their way. He's lost his spot in the rotation and he doesn't like it. Historically, this means D.C. will engage in socially unacceptable behavior. And with Bob Bass' boo-boo -- five years, $40 million -- why should the big fella care? Here's the top off: After the Hornets opened a West Coast trip by losing in Sacramento, they are 18-4 without Coleman this season, 2-6 with him. In two-plus seasons as the roundest man in America wearing teal, D.C. has taken his team to a 60-59 record. Funny, but they are 34-8 when he is missing.
Elton Brand will demand a trade, that bluster bouncing off the broad body of GM Jerry Krause, who has his own agent. Brand must be patient. He is locked into two more years in Chicago. The Bulls will buy his patience by brooming poor Tim Pink Floyd, who stayed too long with the Triangle when Fred Hoiberg, the Mayor of Ames, Iowa, was the only guy able to run it. "I can't take much more of this," Elton said. "I want to win [and we're 4-24]. I'm not a quitter. I'm not the kind of person who would just leave my teammates out there. But it's tough."
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| Mutombo |
The Hawks will make the playoffs and re-sign Dikembe Mutombo. Yeah, yeah, you've been lied to on this one. But the Hawks are playing as well as any of the No. 6-to-8 playoff eligible stiff teams in the East. They need a point guard, but they have the Big Boy, who went into the weekend averaging 16.2 rebounds for December. Mutombo figures he can play another five years. Since he hardly ever jumps and has never had a serious injury, why not?
Philadelphia will win the Atlantic Division handily, make it to the Finals and Larry Brown will adopt Allen Iverson, who will then consent to a bar mitzvah. Sure, Larry doesn't understand the music, cringes at the sight of the tattoos, says very frankly, that he doesn't like the way Allen dresses. But the Tiny Terror is as game as they come. When he comes to work on time, Larry gets such a thrill...
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| Walker |
Rick Pitino will resign as coach and president of the Celtics before the season ends and take a college job. Back when Little Ricky bolted Kentucky, Antoine Walker cringed, telling pals that he left school to escape his tightly-wound college coach. Well, Walker has gotten his revenge with the most hopelessly erratic play the league has seen in a long time for a big man with the talent to be a major player. Can Larry Bird save him? We'll find out.
Michael Jordan will sever his affiliation with the Wizards in the wake of a series of embarrassing episodes, and Leonard Hamilton will go back to college. Jordan hasn't been around since he ripped the troops and Juwan Howard ripped him back. He's probably had enough already. Hamilton lost face when he let Rod Strickland practice with the starting five the day after he missed a post-Christmas practice, then said management didn't want Strickland to start. When he didn't handle it he lost the respect of the troops.
Tracy McGrady will announce that he's sorry he signed with the Orlando Magic, who blew a wad of money on second banana Grant Hill and now lack the cap room to go after a dominant big man, even if there were one available. Child prodigy McGrady is all they've got on that Mickey Mouse team. By the time it's over he'll wish he had stayed with Cousin Carter up in Toronto.
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| Bender |
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| Harrington |
Pacers president Donnie Walsh will send Al Harrington, Jonathan Bender and Jermaine O'Neal to summer school. With this bunch the rule is no diplomas, no rings. Imagine how good the Pacers would have been if Walsh had simply held on the Davis boys and Rik Smits. Instead, the kiddie corps is collapsing. Smits won't play again. he lives in Indianapolis, takes his kid to school, has a lot of money and no real love for the game.
Miami will finish third in the Atlantic and get knocked out in the first round. Why? The Heat has to play so hard to get by there won't be anything left for the postseason when Tim Hardaway's knees are fried.
George Karl will decide that he can't do this any longer. Big George has had enough of players who don't share his blue collar values and show lack of respect for the game by failing to put out every night. What's George gonna do? Drink beer, read books. Wait on the North Carolina job. It's a good life.
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| Gill |
Layups
You think the Meadowlands isn't sitting on toxic waste? No sooner does Keith Van Horn return to practice and Kerry Kittles express doubt he will ever play again on a degenerative knee, then Kendall Gill goes down with severe tendinitis.
Ex-Wizards coach Gar Heard looks like a prophet. He told Leonard Hamilton he had no chance unless Jordan dumped Strickland.
Don't be surprised if Hawks swingman Jim Jackson becomes a Laker by the Feb. 22 trade deadline.
At 33-126 (as of Dec. 28), Tim Floyd's .210 win percentage ranks next to last among head coaches who worked at least 100 games. Brian Winters, 23-102 and .194, with Vancouver is the record-holder.
The Hawks have used 10 different lineups, five starting small forwards. Beleaguered Isiah Thomas has used eight lineups in Indiana.
Lenny Wilkens is four losses shy of 1,000.
"It's fun playing on Christmas whether you are home or away. But let us go home afterward," says Orlando's Darrell Armstrong. "I have a problem sending us the next day to Milwaukee, one of the worst cities in the league. I know (commissioner) David Stern is not going to be in Milwaukee."
Jeffrey Denberg, who covers the NBA for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, is a regular contributor to ESPN.com.
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