Knock, knock.

"Hello?"

	Our hero learned fast that Michael Jordan never backs down from a challenge.

"Uh, Mr. Pollin?"

"Who is this?"

"It's Jeffrey, Mr. Pollin."

"I don't like you. What do YOU want?"

"Mr. Pollin, can Mikey come out and play?"

"No."

(Door slams)

Knock, knock.

"What?"

"Uh, Mr. Pollin...."

"Michael retired, kid. He's done. Finished. He's an executive now. An owner. Get lost."

"Please, Mr. Pollin, Super Mario's coming back. He bought new skates. Can't Mikey play ball?"

"Kid, Mikey's too expensive. Get lost."

And that's the heart of it. Jockeys come back. Boxers come back. Politicians and actors come back. Hockey players come back. A few basketball players, they come back. Michael Jordan? No. Sorry. Won't happen. Can't happen.

Remember that final scene in 1998. He fakes Bryon Russell, fires that jumper, legs splayed. Shot goes. Bulls win. Championship No. 6. Career.

Hold that picture close. We won't see it again. Mikey's gone.

Last week, courtesy of the magic of DirecTV, I'm watching the Washington Wizards pound the L.A. Clippers and Mike's in the owner's suit, swigging an amber liquid from a tall glass. (Hey, could have been tea.) His team faints in the fourth quarter, loses. Mike goes downstairs and tears them a new, you know, challenges them, lights a fire at their feet, dares them to die on him. They die, anyway.

So, you're thinking, hey, wouldn't it be great if Mike put on a Wizards suit, stepped on the court, laid a 47 on some chump team and turned the season around? Won't happen. Can't happen.

Yeah, Mike did it in '93, went off to play minor league baseball, bought his team a bus, couldn't hit a curveball, came back to hoops, won three more titles.

Mike came back he was 31. He's working on 38 come February. The fast twitch muscles took the big sleep. The jumper's lost a foot, the ups are down. The career's gone.

Even if he had it all hermetically sealed, who could afford Michael Jordan?

	“	I'm more frustrated than anybody. But I'm committed to getting this turned around. I hear this stuff about me not being here, about me not caring, about not being on the job. ... It's a crock. My heart is as much into this as it could possibly be. I'm on the job. But I'm not going to be anybody's show pony. ”
		— Jordan

The Bulls? He won't go home again.

The Wiz? These poor slobs are $23.6 million over the cap. They can pay Mike minimum money, $1.2 million. No more. It ain't gonna happen.

Poor Mr. Pollin, he's staring at a $1 for $1 luxury tax next season. He's stretched to his last dollar. He couldn't afford to put Mikey in a uniform if he wanted to. And thanks to the NBA rules, if Mike wants to play, he's got to give up his stake in Ted Leonsis' package deal -- the hockey team, the arena, the right to someday buy the Wiz from old Mr. Pollin, who doesn't have computer money.

They don't have the same rule in the NHL. You can own the team, coach, go out and play old time hockey, nobody says boo. NBA? David Stern's got his rules. Want to play? Got to sell. Want to coach? Got to sell. They did it to Magic Johnson, made him put his piece of the Lakers in Cookie's name. They'll do it to Michael Jordan.

I think it's the Mark Cuban Rule, written into the by-laws decades before Mark Cuban was born, in case he was conceived, grew up, made a lot of money, bought a team. The NBA feels good, Mark Cuban can't put on a uniform or name himself coach. Same rule applies to Michael Jordan.

You say you want to see Mikey do it one more time -- ball out there, tongue wagging, leaning, dunking? Hey, so do I. Won't happen.

Meanwhile, Mike can hardly watch. He's only been to three games, that's how much the Wiz affect his sensibilities.

"I'm frustrated with the way things are going," he told the Washington Post's Mike Wilbon. "I miss the game, but I'm not playing and I'm not going to play. And I do understand my name and image have impact and are of value to the team. But I'm here to coordinate an effort to get players. I'm not here every day and that was made plain when I accepted this position. I hired guys I trust to be here every day and half the night. I've got to get players and they have to help me. All my efforts go into that every day.

"I'm more frustrated than anybody. But I'm committed to getting this turned around. I hear this stuff about me not being here, about me not caring, about not being on the job. ... It's a crock. My heart is as much into this as it could possibly be. I'm on the job. But I'm not going to be anybody's show pony."

	Richmond

	Howard

	Strickland

Mikey's not going to play. And the poor Wiz, they aren't going to win. They haven't won since they beat Milwaukee on Nov. 25. They're 4-17 now, nearing the worst start in franchise history, set in the franchise's inaugural season, 1961-62, by the Chicago Packers, 4-19.

These Rod Strickland-Juwan Howard-Mitch Richmond Wizards have already packed it in. You want to make book on them winning another game in calendar 2000? Here's the schedule, starting Wednesday: Philadelphia and Charlotte at home, at the Clippers, Kings, Grizzlies, Sonics, Blazers, home to New York, at Miami, home to Detroit.

	Terry

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