This is not a prediction column.

This is an advice column.

This is not what all the teams with all the coaching and management vacancies will do.

This is what they should do.

There is a way to get just about everyone to the job they not only would succeed in, but which is the best fit for their particular group of talents, salary desires and neuroses. More to the point, I'm getting tired of sitting by the phone for six hours every day while everybody talks to everybody. Fellas, I want to break out the sticks. Heed these suggestions and make hires so I can fire at the old stone house on the 18th at Whiskey Creek.

	Brown

1. The Rockets should hire Larry Brown. They are close right now, but they haven't been able to break through. They need to meld the low-post, halfcourt game that suits Yao Ming with the freewheeling, screen-and-roll game that suits Steve Francis. That will take someone who can get the respect of the players from Day 1 with his knowledge and teaching ability. That is LB, simply the best basketball coach on the planet right now. He will drive everyone in Houston crazy, but for three or four years, the Rockets will play better defense than they have in years. He will be rejuvenated, not having anyone on the roster who is remotely as high maintenance as Allen Iverson.

	Van Gundy

2. The Hornets should hire Jeff Van Gundy. There are still a lot of folks around the L whose opinions I respect that insist Tim Floyd will be a very good pro coach. Maybe. But I don't understand how George Shinn and Ray Woolridge can allow Van Gundy to slip through their fingers. If he says no, offer him more dough until he says yes. That team can be in the Finals next season. Its coach shouldn't still be learning on the job. VG will be able to cover up some of the holes that will be created if P.J. Brown leaves via free agency. He'll get the most out of Jamaal Magloire. He'll encourage Baron Davis to come to camp in shape next fall. And he'll win. That's the only thing I figure that will draw crowds in the Big Easy, because a great home record and fun players in their honeymoon season sure didn't do it this season.

	Silas

3. The Cavaliers should hire Paul Silas. Cleveland isn't going to win for a couple of years, even with LeBron. The Cavs need to start building a foundation, create an atmosphere where players want to be around and have a sense of team and pride. Silas is the perfect guy for that. He treats his players like men, but he doesn't take any garbage from them, either. He'll handle the discipline just as he did in Charlotte/New Orleans. And -- this is going to be sacrilege, I know -- the most important player for the Cavs remains Big Z, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, not Bron Bron. It would help him to have a coach around who knows what a big man goes through. Lenny Wilkens succeeded in Cleveland. Silas is Lenny with muscle.

4. The Clippers should hire Mike Fratello. The Czar can coach, and that's what the Clips need, desperately. He won with terrible talent in Cleveland, and he won pretty big with better talent in Atlanta. Plus, I think that a few years away from the game may have softened some of his rougher edges -- I trust he won't be despairing about his players' low Basketball I.Q., at least in public. Even if Mike Olowokandi and Andre Miller take a powder, the Clips will still have a lot of good players in the cupboard. Fratello would figure out the best way to use them. Mr. Sterling, clench your teeth and give the man the $2.5 to $3 million he's asking for.

	Rivers

5. The Sixers should seek permission to talk to Doc Rivers. Atlanta asked a while back and the Magic balked, but Philly should still make the call. I have a feeling that something might be able to be worked out. It might be time for Doc to make a move. I can't see Orlando being a whole lot better down the road, even though Drew Gooden and Gordan Giricek worked out great in the short term. Doc would be the anti-Larry, the perfect salve for A.I. The Sixers can still win if they find the right guy to get them through while Billy King starts deconstructing the team that Brown built around Iverson. Rivers is that guy, and if it costs Philly some loot and a pick or two as compensation, so be it.

	Dunleavy

6. The Hawks should hire Mike Dunleavy. Oh, they're going to, already, assuming David McDavid's group finalizes terms of its purchase of the team from AOL by the June 15 deadline. Atlanta showed signs of life at the end of last season, and Dunleavy might be able to build on that. But also ...

7. The Hawks should also hire Pat Croce as team president. That franchise needs a personality transplant. Nothing against the people that have been there for the last few years, but collectively, they're not exactly the Rat Pack, if you know what I'm saying. The Hawks need someone to wake up the sleepiest franchise in the league, in -- I'm being repetitive, I know -- the worst pro sports town in America. Croce would light a fire under everybody with his boundless energy and ability to bring people inside the tent. I'm tired of going to Hawks games and seeing 5,000 people in the stands. There are lots of people with money in the ATL. Croce would make a night at Phillips Arena fun, and make people come back for more. Can't you imagine him rappelling off the CNN Tower, or wrestling Dusty Rhodes out on Peachtree Street? And also ...

8. The Hawks should hire Billy Knight permanently as GM. He's already doing the job, people. Just give him a real contract and let him have at it. Knight learned from Donnie Walsh -- who's the best in the biz at what he does -- and he was building the Grizzlies when Michael Heisley got Logo Stars in his eyes and went for Jerry West. But it was Knight that pulled off the deal that netted Pau Gasol for Memphis.

	Grunfeld

9. The Bucks should let Ernie Grunfeld interview in Portland. It's just wrong, what owner Herb Kohl is doing. Grunfeld has one year left on his contract. Kohl is openly looking for a buyer to take the team off of his hands. Kohl has every right to sell the team and make a hefty profit, if possible. But the new owner would have no obligation to keep Grunfeld around after next season, nor should he. He should be able to hire whoever he wants. Kohl isn't obligated to let Grunfeld interview; a contract is a contract. But it would be the right thing to do. Larry Harris, currently the assistant GM, is more than capable of handling the big chair for a year, or longer if necessary.

	Johnson

10. The Wizards should hire Magic Johnson to be President of Basketball Operations. I'm sure there are those who'd view Johnson as just another Jordan. But there are big differences. One, Johnson has a great relationship with owner Abe Pollin. Johnson had a charity basketball game in D.C. for a couple of summers in the early 90s, and he and Pollin hit it off famously. More to the point, the two have extended their relationship to the business end, having recently closed a deal to open a chain of Magic Johnson Theatres as an anchor for a mall on the site of the old Capital Centre. And Johnson has relationships with the African-American business community in D.C., having run a Coca Cola bottling plant years ago. It is precisely these folks who are most ticked off over how Pollin ran Jordan out of town. And it's these folks who don't want to renew their season tickets. Magic, who could charm a pit bull, could bring some of them back, and mend fences with Pollin's old guard. But also ...

	Jordan

11. The Wizards should hire Eddie Jordan. Jordan is a Southeast D.C. native who went to Carroll High School in the District before playing at Rutgers. Again, the local community was quite chapped at how the MJ thing went down. It would be smart of Pollin to bring in somebody to coach the team that people around town already know. It would be smarter because Jordan, the Nets' assistant, is brilliant -- the developer of the Nets' Princeton-based halfcourt attack -- and ready for another shot to be the head guy. I think he could figure out a way to get something out of Kwame Brown before it's too late.

12. The Raptors should hire Dwane Casey. I know Kevin O'Neill, the Pistons' assistant, is the leader in the clubhouse at the moment. But Casey is the right guy for that job. He's been waiting patiently in Seattle for a decade and he knows his Xs and Os as well as anyone. The reason he's the right guy for this job, though, is because he knows how to work with tough cases. Casey kept GP from strangling George Karl in Seattle when both of them were younger, and feistier. And Toronto's biggest challenge now is finding someone who can motivate Vince Carter to be the best he can be. I still believe the Raptors can be a model franchise. They have solid ownership that will spend money, good mangement, a great and loyal fan base and solid players. But Carter needs to lead the way. Casey is the guy that can get the most out of him.

13. The Charlotte franchise should hire Chris Wallace as GM. I just don't think MJ and Bob Johnson are the right match. Two really successful guys with two really large egos. It would be like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs opening up a Radio Shack together. Wallace doesn't care about the spotlight, only about scouting players. Nobody has a more extensive Rolodex. And that's precisely what an expansion franchise that is going to flush dozens of players through its system over the next few years needs -- somebody who'll hunt the back bushes and fly to Uzbekistan to find young, cheap talent.

	Collins

14. Somebody should hire Doug Collins to do TV again. He was, simply, the best basketball analyst ever to put on a headset. It's not going to work out for him in Washington. So he should agree to eat one of the two years left on his deal, the Wizards should pay him for this year and one of the nets (mine, I hope) should bring him in immediately to do what he does best -- break down a game in an informative, entertaining way.

David Aldridge, who covers the NBA for ESPN, is a regular contributor to ESPN.com.