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We are in Year Three A.J. (in the year of our basketball lord Jordan)
and the NBA continues to slip in and out of gear. While some Pollyannas
continue to say all is well, there continue to be empty seats, 72-65
thrillers and dropping ratings.
|  | | David Aldridge gets a big kick out of Kevin Garnett. |
Nonetheless, the league isn't as bad as its
critics would like you to believe. Everyone isn't overpaid. In fact, think
about the guys making the most coin this season. Is Shaq overpaid? How about
Kevin Garnett? Did anyone think 'Zo wasn't bringing it every night? Yeah,
Shawn Kemp is disappointing to everyone, but is Chris Webber? True, the
Bulls are hard to watch, but do yourself a favor and check out the Sixers
when you have a chance. Sure, Derrick Coleman has wasted a lot of his
talent, but the Hornets haven't bitched about him not being around; they've
won seven in a row.
The glass isn't as full as it used to be. But it isn't empty, either.
Happy holidays to all, however you may celebrate them. And special HH
wishes to...
Jason Kidd, KG, Shaq, Kobe, GP, Webber, Iverson, Duncan,
StocktontoMalone. Thanks.
Nowitzki, Finley, Rasheed, Stevie Franchise, McDyess, Vinsanity, Tracy
McGrady, Shareef, J-Dub, Starchild. Understand what is expected of you.
Riles, Lenny Wilkens, Larry Brown, Jerry Sloan, Rudy T, Flip Saunders,
Phil Jackson, George Karl, Nellie.
Mike Mathis, Joe Crawford, Hugh Evans, Steve Javie.
Tim Frank, Cheri Hansen, Travis Stanley, Julie Fie, Tommy Sheppard,
David Benner, Lori Hamamoto, John Mertz, Arthur Triche, Kim Turner, Maureen
Nasser (though you'll always be Lewis to me).
McIntyre, Washington, Sylvan, Grumet.
The Commish and Big Russ; Billy Hunter and Ron Klempner.
Kevin Harlan, Kevin Calabro, Jim Durham.
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| Robinson |
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| Mullin |
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| S.Smith |
The True Pros (Players' Division): Steve Smith, Chris Mullin, Eric
Snow, George Lynch, Mitch Richmond, Sean Elliott, David Robinson, Reggie
Miller, Jalen Rose, P.J. Brown, Charles Oakley, Antonio Davis, Nick
Anderson, Allan Houston, Mario Elie, Avery Johnson, Grant Long.
The True Pros (Management Division): Donnie Walsh, Joe Dumars, John
Gabriel, Bob Bass, Carroll Dawson, Bryan Colangelo, Ernie Grunfeld, Billy
King, Mitch Kupchak, Wally Walker.
The True Pros (Media Division): Dave D'Alessandro, Steve Bulpett, Mary
Schmitt Boyer, Mark Montieth, Steve Luhm, Mike Monroe, Martin McNeal, Kerry
Eggers.
Olajuwon, Ewing, Ron Harper, Danny Manning.
Alonzo Mourning, Grant Hill, Kerry Kittles, Googs.
Juwan Howard, Matt Geiger, Vin Baker, Shawn Kemp, Jim McIlvaine.
JJax, Mad Dog, Dr. Jack, Buch in the Box, John Martin, B. Sacks,
Karabell, Lundy.
More specific gift ideas for the following...
To The Commish: A happy medium. Somewhere between the obnoxiously
expensive courtside seats and the $10 bargains in nosebleed country is a
reasonably priced, fairly placed ticket where families of regular means can
come and enjoy your product more than once a season.
To Michael Jordan: A velvet rope, so that those in Washington who want
you to be a greeter like Willie Mays at Bally's can have someplace to stand
behind and adore you from afar.
To Clippers Fans: A little more patience. You have, finally, something
worth waiting for.
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| Webber |
To Chris Webber: A house in Vegas, the keys to the city, anything to
keep you in Sacramento, where you can live your life in peace, instead of
L.A. or New York, where you'll be poked and prodded like Dean Martin's
liver. But whatever makes you happiest.
To Zydrunas Ilgauskas: The address of the charlatan who has given you
Andrew Toney's feet.
To Mark Cuban: Humility and class, things your $2 billion obviously
have not given you.
To Paul Silas: recognition, which the national media seems to want to
withhold.
To Pat Croce: Tylenol 3, to deal with the headaches those two whack
jobs must give you on a daily basis.
To Eddy Curry and Tyson Chandler: No. 2 pencils, with which to take the
SAT or ACT. Fellas, go to school. Please.
To Jerry Krause: a line from "All the President's Men": I don't mind
what you did, I mind the way you did it.
To Dan Issel: an apology. This time, the players were wrong, and you
were right.
To Kevin Garnett: My continued admiration and respect, for doing
everything the right way. I don't care if KG's playing with me and three
guys just out of County lockup, go see him perform if you are able.
And to my wife, the same question I've had for 13 years: why on earth
do you put up with me?
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