PHOENIX -- All of a sudden, the champs aren't feeling so good.

They need a couple of Tylenol. They need a frosty beverage or two. But most of all, the New York Yankees need Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling to get lost on the way to the airport -- and stay lost for another week.

"Those are two great pitchers," said Chuck Knoblauch on Sunday night, after his team had just been steamrolled on three hits by Johnson, one night after being steamrolled on three hits by Schilling. "They've certainly lived up to all the hype."

	Bernie Williams disgustedly walks back to the dugout after striking out in the second inning.

Well, they've either lived up to it or shot it into orbit. And because they have, the champs are losing this World Series, two games to zip, to a team from Arizona that didn't even exist the last year the champs lost a postseason series. Which was way back in 1997, a time so long ago that Mariano Rivera still seemed virtually human back then.

But it's worse than that. The champs have barely had a shot. They lost Game 1 to Schilling by eight runs (9-1). They lost Game 2 to Johnson by four runs (4-0).

It's only the third time since 1926 the Yankees have lost back-to-back World Series games by four runs or more. But it's worse than that, too.

Let's just say that if you've seen their bats lately, report them to the Bureau of Missing Offenses immediately.

The champs' team batting average in this World Series (.102) looks like one of Boss Steinbrenner's golf scores.

After two games, their "offense" -- if that's the proper term -- has more 1-2-3 innings (10) than hits (six).

They just became the first World Series entrant since the '69 Orioles to go 28 consecutive at-bats (over two games) without getting a single hit.

And not only have they gone 17 straight innings without completing that long, harrowing journey to home plate, they've gone 17 straight innings without even visiting third base.

The champs aren't used to this. We're not used to seeing this out of the champs. But that, of course, is because the champs have been able to skate through their 38 previous World Series without facing Curt Schilling and Randy Johnson.

Oh, not that those other 38 World Series didn't bring their share of rough tides. But while we admit we're a little hazy on the details of the 1922 World Series (one of only three in which the Yankees got swept), we know they didn't have to face any 6-foot-10 left-handers with 411 strikeouts back then.

They had to face one in Game 2, though. And it was almost as much fun as driving the Cross Bronx Expressway at rush hour, behind a pothole crew.

"He throws as hard as anybody," Derek Jeter was saying of the Big Unit on Sunday night, in a crowded corner of the champs' sullen locker room. "He throws 97, 98 miles an hour. And he's 6-foot-13. So he's halfway to home plate when he throws the ball.

	“	He throws as hard as anybody. He throws 97, 98 miles an hour. And he's 6-foot-13. So he's halfway to home plate when he throws the ball. ”
		— Derek Jeter on Randy Johnson

"He moves his fastball in and out. And his slider keeps you honest. So you can't focus on the fastball because then he buries you with the slider."

The last time the Yankees saw Johnson in a postseason series, it was 1995. He was only 6-foot-12½ then, as we recall. And he both started and finished what was arguably their most embarrassing October collapse, when they blew a two-games-to-none lead to Seattle in a best-of-5 series.

The Yankees hit .143 against Johnson in that series. They were then able to dodge him for all but two innings over the next two-and-a-half years. And they might have thought they were safe from him forever when the Unit split for the National League in 1998.

But no such luck. He showed up again Sunday at the worst possible time, when the champs desperately needed a win to avoid tumbling into a 2-0 canyon.

"He seemed like pretty much the same nightmare I remember seeing when he was in our league," said Chuck Knoblauch, who took an 0-for-4, with one strikeout.

"He's a big man," said Shane Spencer, who went 1-for-3, with a strikeout and a soft single. "That's the first time I ever faced a guy that big."

"I don't think he's really 60 feet away. He's really 55 by the time he lets it go," said Randy Velarde, who started the night with the best career average against Johnson (.452) of any hitter in baseball with 20 at-bats against him -- and came away with an 0-for-3, including a whiff. "He's an intimidating force. I'll tell you that."

Three innings into the game, the Arizona outfield might as well have sat around in lounge chairs, soaking in some sun. Seven Yankees had struck out by then. None had hit a ball out of the infield.

And even though Jorge Posada finally helped Don Larsen relax by busting up the no-hitter in the fifth inning -- the Yankees' first hit since the fourth inning the night before -- Andy Pettitte had already made the mistake of giving up a run. And the way Johnson was firing, one run seemed like 50.

"I felt great tonight," Pettitte said. "But Randy dominated. That was the bottom line."

Still, Pettitte was able to keep it a 1-0 game until the seventh, by snapping off six masterful three-hit innings himself. But then he plunked Luis Gonzalez to start the seventh. Scott Brosius bobbled a potential double-play ball. Danny Bautista thunked an infield single off Pettitte's knee. And shortly thereafter, Matt Williams freed most of America to catch the end of "The Practice" with a three-run homer last seen headed for the Grand Canyon.

The bottom of that Grand Canyon is about where the Yankees find themselves now, too. Down, two games to none, is bad enough. But having to win four out of five, with at least two more starts from Schilling and Johnson on the horizon -- that's a certifiable national emergency.

"We can't worry about that," said Jeter, who is still 0 for the World Series and 2 for his last 24. "We'll worry about them when we face them. We feel we're capable of winning this thing. But we have to win Game 3 before we worry about that."

In Game 3, a great thing will happen to the champs, too. They get to start Cy Clemens. And they will start him against Arizona's lovable four-game winner, Brian Anderson, whose last win as a starter will have occurred a mere 100 days earlier, on July 22.

Anderson will stand as living proof to the Yankees that Schilling and Johnson aren't going to be able to pitch all seven games of this World Series -- barring some late-breaking developments in cloning technology. And never has a team been so grateful for a slowdown in government spending on cloning technology.

Still, of the last 10 teams to lose the first two games, nine of them lost the World Series. And even if the exception happened to be (all together now) the '96 Yankees, it's still a rough spot for any team to find itself in -- even if that team is the champs.

"It's not rough," Scott Brosius contended. "There will be no tears on the plane tonight. We knew going into this series it would be like this."

So maybe they served a little extra Tylenol on that charter home. And a couple of extra frosty beverages. That will get the champs to Tuesday. And then, said Chuck Knoblauch, "we'll see what we're made of."

Jayson Stark is a senior writer for ESPN.com.