Mike Garner: Do you like Steve Spurrier as a head coach in the NFL? Will his system work with notably inferior athletes?

Stuart Scott: Why you gotta drop the "notably inferior" label? The Redskins just set a preseason scoring record. Spurrier may blur that line between cocky and confident, but whatever he is, I like it.

D-Paq: Do you think racism had anything to do with the criticism of the Harlem Little Leaguers?

Stuart Scott: I know I'm in the minority (no pun intended), but it really bothers me when they come down so hard on those kids. If, growing up, every time you play football or basketball or baseball in the street, everybody you're playing against is doing some friendly trash-talking, that's what you know. As for the kid doing the dance toward home plate -- well, Rich Beem did a little dance at the PGA, and no one said a word. I thought both were cute.

Carlton: Is there any sport you just don't like? And why?

Stuart Scott: There's no sport I dislike. There are some sports I don't necessarily understand, and I'm not in a real big hurry to learn about. Like cricket.

Diggy Doc: Carlton -- isn't that the guy from Fresh Prince? Stu can be big Will.

	Nobody has noticed Serena's cat suit, right?

Stuart Scott: Diggy Doc, if he's Carlton, and I'm big Will, who are you, Jazzy Jeff?

D-Paq: What do you think of Serena's U.S. Open duds?

Stuart Scott: I absolutely, positively, honestly, truthfully deny any and all rumors that I noticed that black Lycra unitard short-short outfit. I did NOT take a mental note of it, I only paid attention to Serena's skill. Not a peek. Are we clear?

D-Paq: What's on your tailgate menu?

Stuart Scott: If I say it's sushi, would you believe me?

Stoney: Where's the beef, pork, potatoes, cookies, Cokes, dogs and chips? That's a tailgate.

Stuart Scott: I asked you if you believed me when I said sushi -- I didn't mean I would have sushi. Gimme some chicken, burgers, deviled eggs, pulled pork barbecue, and you gotta get me some hot buttery biscuits. Also, Krispy Kreme doughnuts, Garrett's caramel corn from Chicago and an adult beverage. Can't take it into the game? Give me a flask. I'll put water in it (wink, wink).

E-mail twoway@espn3.com and tell us why we should give you some keyboard time.

This article appears in the September 16 issue of ESPN The Magazine.