It's an outcome that's been predetermined, they imply. Surely, the league wants a Kobe Bryant-Allen Iverson matchup in the Finals, they insist. If you don't believe us, they say, then just watch the tapes. The tapes, the Bucks insist, offer proof about the conspiracy that's being carried out before an audience of millions -- but a conspiracy that no one would dare reveal.

The Bucks have prepared a tape but, of course, it's for internal use only. The team did forward a copy to the NBA, which was right about the time I got a call from some guy who asked me to meet him in a public park, where he handed me a manila envelope mysteriously marked "X Files." There was a tape inside and, after a thorough screening (I tell you, the theme from The Twilight Zone that played in the background was really irritating), I would like to reveal my findings:

That tailbone injury of Iverson's -- a huge fabrication. (How can a guy sit out Game 3, then run around the court for 47 minutes in Game 4?) The X-ray that revealed Eric Snow has a new stress fracture in his foot -- check the film closely and you'll see the foot really belongs to a much taller man ... and, checking the small print in the corner, you can make out a name: "Walton, B."

There's more: Snow's two clutch shots at the end of Game 5 were both taken from a grassy knoll. George Karl won the Florida primary. And after all these years, the tapes reveal that Matt Geiger, of all people, is the guy who really shot J.R. (what's really funny about the tapes: those missing minutes, coincidentally, occur at the same time the Bucks were losing that 16-point lead).

Ask Bucks guard Ray Allen about a conspiracy and he says: "I think there's no question about that. It behooves everybody for the league to make more money, and the league knows that Philadelphia is going to make more money with L.A. that we would with L.A." (I don't know, Ray, I think the Ervin Johnson-Shaquille O'Neal epic would post bigger numbers than Survivor).

When told about the conspiracy theory on Thursday, Sixers' coach Larry Brown said "If there's a conspiracy to put us in the NBA Finals, I'm all for it."

The reality here: If the Bucks had simply capitalized on easy opportunities, they would be up 3-2 in the series with a chance tonight to advance to the NBA Finals. The foul called on a screen by Jason Caffey late in Game 5? Yes, that was, indeed, questionable. But no one forced Tim Thomas to commit an excessively hard foul on Tyrone Hill late in the game -- the flagrant foul call was justified, eventually giving the Sixers a five-point possession. And no special voice directed Aaron McKie to the spot on the floor where Thomas was caught in the air, with nowhere to go, and threw a wild pass that was intercepted. No special force moved Glenn Robinson's game-winning attempt away from the rim, and there were no rocket-launchers under Dikembe Mutombo's feet as he blocked Allen's tip attempt at the buzzer.

Here's a bit of advice to Karl and Co.: Shut the Bucks up, and just play.

Milwaukee came out with no sense of urgency in Game 1, and lost. The Bucks did not take advantage of Iverson's ailments in Game 4, and lost. The Bucks didn't drop the hammer on the Sixers after building a 16-point lead in Game 5, and lost.

The Bucks have fought back before, coming back from being down 3-2 to win the Eastern Conference semifinals against Charlotte. The Bucks have three proven scorers in Allen, Robinson and Cassell (also, Cassell is obviously slowed this series with the injury to his ribs). If the Bucks' big three come up big tonight, they can win. If the Bucks can get more of a contribution from their bench (hey, George, keep playing the ineffective Lindsey Hunter and you might get linked to the conspiracy), they can win. If the Bucks would simply attack the rim more (can it be Mutombo's not getting into foul trouble because no one's challenging him?), they can win.

This is all the Bucks have to do to extend this to seven games: play well for an entire game, not just in spurts. And if they do that, then a nation will be ready to embrace a Ray Allen/Kobe Bryant matchup in the finals starting next Wednesday.

And if the Bucks don't bring it tonight? We hear NBA's needs another competitor to join the Spurs, Heat and Blazers in a special NBA celebrity version of The Weakest Link.

Jerry Bembry is covering the NBA playoffs for ESPN The Magazine. E-mail him at jerry.bembry@espnmag.com.