| | So kids, what say we check and see who fed it and who ate it over
the weekend?
Brett Favre was the first beneficiary of the NFL's new instant replay
rule, but more than that, he was fortunate to discover that Russell
Maryland's helmet isn't as hard as it looks.
Chris Palmer found out that it isn't nice to trifle with Drew Carey's
feelings.
|  | | When Vinny Testaverde was carted off, much of the Jets' optimism about 1999 went with him. |
Ricky Williams found out that it isn't nice to fool Mother Nature.
Bill Parcells found out that grass is good.
Vinny Testaverde found out that grass is great.
Jim Fassel found out that offensive game plans are occasionally
unnecessary.
Rocket Ismail found out that sometimes it's actually the fifth time
that's the charm.
Daniel Snyder found out that this owning a football team is a little
more than just watching the money come in every week.
Steve Mariucci found out that the West Coast Offense doesn't work so
well with a single wing backfield.
Edgerrin James found out that you can do really well in this league
without an incentive-loaded contract.
Bruce Coslet found out that he is still paying his tab for what must
have been some very weird sins accumulated in a previous life.
Kurt Warner found out that having your name spelled correctly takes
awhile.
Jon Gruden found out that the best way to protect a lead is to act
like you're not trying to protect it.
Joey Galloway found that there sure are a lot of things on cable
television on the weekend.
Bill Cowher found out that rivalries are good if you have all the
players.
Rick Mirer found out that his life of quiet seclusion is now over.
Tom Coughlin found out that expectations do not increase
arithmetically, but geometrically, when you're the only show in town.
Scott Mitchell found out that sometimes changing scenery only means
standing behind a different tree.
Andy Reid found out just how much gravity weighs.
Junior Seau found out that not starting with everyone else is sort of
like being the last turkey in the shop.
Norv Turner found out that a recurring migraine needs more than just
aspirin.
Ron Rivers found out that Barry Sanders really meant it.
Jake Plummer found out that the gods haven't stopping betting him
yet.
The people who watched Tennessee in its new uniforms found out that
your sight is a very precious gift.
Doug Flutie found that doing it twice is harder than it looks.
Randy Moss found out that it's hard to put up 60 just because you feel
like it.
Bill Walsh found out that sitting in the press box on game day is its
own punishment.
Morten Andersen and Gary Anderson found out (again) that sometimes you're just not going to get to be the hero.
The New England Patriots found out that you can win a huge season
opener and still be ignored.
George Seifert found out that he misses the seafarers' life.
Kevin Mathis found out that being a Dallas cornerback not named Deion
Sanders often serves as a glorified "Kick Me" sign.
Gunther Cunningham found out that it wasn't just Marty Schottenheimer
wanting to do television work.
Trent Dilfer found out that Tony Dungy has a fairly low tolerance for
temporary insanity.
Phil Luckett found out that, as a referee, a quiet day is like having
Jennifer Lopez come over to regrout your bathroom fixtures.
Shane Matthews found out that if you get cut four times by the same team, it may be trying to tell you something. He also found out that if
you come back five times and then win your first start, you may be
trying to tell it something it needs to hear.
Los Angeles viewers found out that it's still good to have your choice
of games.
Houston fans found out that it's still bad to have to wait until Los
Angeles finishes spilling its milk to get a team.
And finally, we all found out, probably for the 452nd time, that five-team
parlays are your worst entertainment value.
Ray Ratto of the San Francisco Examiner is a regular contributor to ESPN.com. | |
ALSO SEE
Tuesday Morning Quarterback
ESPN.com's NFL Power Rankings
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Week 1 wrap-ups
Kreidler: TV driving NFL replay rules
Week 1 infirmary report
Week 1 stats leaders
TJ's Take: Jags on the prowl
Week 1 PrimeTime Players
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