| | Dan Marino the Minnesota Viking seems such a strange notion, but only
because a man who has worn aquamarine his entire life has to learn the art
of looking good in purple.
|  | | Dan Marino's final season in Miami was a bruising experience. |
And don't even get us started about trading orange trim for yellow.
Besides, the Marino-to-Vikingtown story is screwy enough without
getting into the agony of wardrobe changes.
According to anybody whose last name ends in .com, Marino has been
named the Vikings' new starting quarterback by coach Dennis Green, despite
the fact that Marino hasn't signed anything with Viking letterhead upon it.
Somehow, we're going to guess, this job wasn't posted on the Vikings'
union bulletin board.
True, the Vikings are in a bit of a bind, since Green has already made
it clear that he wants neither Randall Cunningham nor Jeff George to be his
quarterback despite the 25 wins they amassed between them the last two
years.
That's OK. Cunningham didn't want to take a pay cut, and George is,
well, George --- cursed at birth for reasons beyond our ken.
Plus, Marino's eminently available, having been given a slow-motion
bum's rush in Miami for felony aging. He still has lots of arm, and plenty
of want-to. Why, a quick meeting or two between the Vikings and agent
Marvin Demoff, and we ought to have us a deal.
It's a marriage made in, well, Costco.
Think about it a moment. Consider the odds of a quarterback with
Marino's pedigree being out there in the remainder bin. Then think about
the odds of a great offensive team looking for a quarterback for the third
year in a row.
Lord a'mighty, it's Dollar Days gone mad.
Then again, dignity has nothing to do with it.
By now, we have come to accept the fact that almost nobody in team
sports finishes where he or she started. Either money, slipping skills or
dimbulb management sees to it that the team star isn't bundled off to some
new locale to try and recreate decade-old magic.
That Marino is a free agent, therefore, should not surprise us. Nearly
all his betters, including Joe Montana and Johnny Unitas, finished their
careers in foreign climes. Only a few great quarterbacks (Sid Luckman, Bart
Starr, Terry Bradshaw, Jim Kelly, a few others) get to stay in one town to
be worshiped and statue-ified.
The Vikings, on the other hand, are in a very weird spot these days.
Green took a chance on Cunningham in 1998 when nobody else wanted him, and
got a sensational year out of him. Then, when Cunningham went down, Green
already had George, the former Colt, Falcon and Raider, waiting for his
chance.
And now they're both gone, guilty of making too much money.
Gone, as it is going to happen, for another old, unemployed and highly
paid quarterback.
Green has not yet shared his master plan with us, but he certainly
seems to be saying that young quarterbacks have to become old quarterbacks
before they get to be starting quarterbacks.
Hear that, Daunte Culpepper.
Green also seems to be working for the short money yet again. Old
quarterbacks come to a new team for only two reasons --- to raise the
young, or to shoot the moon. If Marino at age 38 is in a hurry to repaint
his legacy, then so for that matter is Green.
Of course, Marino is still considering retirement as well, just
because you never get coldcocked by Bruce Smith on the 11th tee.
But the money isn't as good in recreational golf, and neither is there
much chance of winning a Super Bowl ring while riding a cart with a
rear-engined cooler.
Thus, we are left with the odd sensation that, yes, Dan Marino will
make the change from one garish uniform to another, a short-timer working
for a short-timer working for a very short-time goal. After all, there is
no shorter time than right now.
And now comes very quickly in your modern NFL.
Ray Ratto of the San Francisco Examiner is a regular contributor to ESPN.com. | |
ALSO SEE
 Kreidler: Miami not-so-nice
Marino weighs offer to be starting QB in Minnesota
Legends on the move
 |
