Tim Graham

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Tuesday, August 7
Updated: August 15, 10:58 AM ET
 
A Goofi change for a goofy sport

By Tim Graham
Special to ESPN.com

It didn't cause as much commotion as the time Cassius Clay told the world he would henceforth be known as Muhammad Ali, or as much confusion as the time pop music star Prince informed everyone his new name was an unpronounceable symbol.
Lance Whitaker
Whitaker, here firing on Lou Savarese, has only one career loss.

But heavyweight contender Lance Whitaker announced last week he will now go by the mono moniker Goofi, pronounced the same way as Disney's lovable doggy dufus. Whitaker opted for the unconventional spelling because he's avant-garde -- or out of fear of a copyright lawsuit.

Whitaker, a 6-foot-8, 260-pound Southern Californian, used to go by the first name Mount. But he didn't make his latest switch for religious reasons or to get in touch with his heritage. He did it because he simply is a goofball.

"I just wanted something different, something funny, me, my personality," Whitaker told the Los Angeles Daily News. "I'm a little bit of a jokester. I like to be different."

Somebody as large as Whitaker with the ability to fight (23-1, 19 knockouts) can get away with such eccentricities.

But Whitaker's name change provoked this thought: What other Disney characters could describe boxing folk?

At the risk of offending ESPN.com's parent company and getting myself removed from the budget, here are a few more Disney names that resemble boxing personalities. These are cartoon characters only, so don't get bent out of shape when you can't find any Spin and Marty or Annette Funicello references.

Mickey Mouse: The New York State Athletic Commission. It's been a rough summer for chairman Mel Southard's crew, which oversaw the death of Beethavean Scottland on June 26 and the Hector Camacho Jr.-James Leija debacle two weeks later. The NYSAC couldn't resurrect Scottland, but it eventually overturned Camacho's ridiculous victory, making it an equally aggravating no decision (Leija should have won).

Minnie Mouse: Any bout featuring Mia St. John.

Pluto: Andrew Golota. Not only is his brain in orbit, but he also has been a dog in every big fight he has been in.

The Lion King: The Lyin' Don King. Too easy.

Pinocchio: Bob Arum. His schnoz certainly has grown over the years. The Top Rank Inc. president uttered the infamous line "Yesterday I was lying. Today I'm telling the truth." He also admitted to bribing former IBF boss Bob Lee.

Geppetto: Cedric Kushner. Remember the woodcarver who so desperately wanted a little boy he built Pinocchio? Well, Kushner wanted nothing more as a promoter than to fashion a world heavyweight champion. And as soon as Kushner constructed Hasim Rahman, the kid up and left him for Don King. Of course, Rahman is as much a world champ as Pinocchio is a real boy. Timber.

Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee:
Evander Holyfield and John Ruiz
Resolved to have a battle,
For Holyfield said John Ruiz
Had spoiled his nice new rattle.

Just then flew by a monstrous crow,
As big as a tar-barrel,
Which frightened both the heroes so,
They quite forgot their quarrel.

Don't ask us, fellas. We don't know why you're fighting either.

Pound for pound list
ESPN.com boxing writer Tim Graham's top 15:

1. Felix Trinidad
2. Shane Mosley
3. Roy Jones
4. Marco Antonio Barrera
5. Floyd Mayweather
6. Oscar De La Hoya
7. Kostya Tszyu
8. Erik Morales
9. Bernard Hopkins
10. Zab Judah
11. Fernando Vargas
12. Lennox Lewis
13. Tim Austin
14. Paulie Ayala
15. Naseem Hamed

Peter Pan: Bernard Hopkins. People have been wondering for years when Hopkins will finally get old. Yet Hopkins continues to execute, having defended his middleweight title 13 times, one shy of Carlos Monzon's division record. Hopkins also has demonstrated a Peter Pan-like refusal to grow up, as evidenced by the immature stunt he pulled during an event to promote his Sept. 15 showdown with Felix Trinidad. Hopkins, the pound-for-pound champion of smack, snatched a Puerto Rican flag out of Trinidad's hand and threw it to the ground.

Cinderella: Paul Spadafora, it's 11:59 p.m. Do you know where your lightweight belt is? If any champ is ripe to lose his title, it's the Pittsburgh Pumpkin.

Prince Charming: Oscar De La Hoya. Beware, ladies: He'll charm ya. The Golden Boy has dashing good looks and a Grammy-nominated singing voice. But De La Hoya also is famous for being a womanizer. He has never been married but has at least two children to two different mothers. He recently reached an out-of-court settlement on a sexual assault case.

Snow White: Shane Mosley. It's difficult to liken the classy welterweight champ with a woman, but for the sake of this presentation, we're only commenting on Sugar Shane's spotless reputation. Mosley not only is an amazing prizefighter, but he's also a remarkable human being -- a rare combination indeed. Before stepping into the ring to dismantle Adrian Stone on July 21, Mosley dedicated the bout to a 14-year-old boy dying of cancer. It was the boy's request through the Make-A-Wish Foundation to see Mosley's fight. The young fan could have picked any fighter to root for. He made a worthy choice.

Bashful: Roy Jones Jr. Shyness is not an admirable quality for a prizefighter. If not for his unwillingness to fight anyone with a chance to beat him, namely Dariusz Michalczewski, or move up to heavyweight, the wildly talented Jones might go down in history as the best boxer who ever lived. Jones' last big fight was against James Toney -- seven years ago.

Happy: Felix Trinidad. No boxer has more command of his future than Tito does. He has long been a tremendous talent, but he is emerging as a legendary force. He has beaten a succession of notable foes in an increasingly devastating manner despite moving up in weight twice in the past two years. Trinidad is on the precipice of becoming one of the best fighters the sport has ever seen.

Sleepy: Lennox Lewis. If he had stayed awake, he still would be developing a career that would place him in the pantheon of all-time heavyweight legends. But Rahman caught Lewis napping and destroyed the former undisputed champ's reputation. Say good night to a glorious legacy, Lennox.

Sneezy: Michael Grant. He used to be nothing to sneeze at. Now that's all an opponent needs to do to severely injure the former heavyweight contender. Pedestrian pug Jameel McCline whacked Grant so hard he broke Grant's ankle in recording a first-round knockout last month. Grant required knee surgery after his previous fight, when Lewis knocked him down four times inside two rounds.

Grumpy: Mike Tyson. He has a few reasons to be cranky lately, and they don't have anything to do with a change in his medication. Iron Mike remains the biggest name in the sport, yet apparently the best opponent he can muster is Danish pastry Brian Nielsen because King has the titles monopolized. On top of that, a 50-year-old Big Bear, Calif., Kmart worker last week accused Tyson of rape. Reports indicate the charge is a bit shaky.

Dopey: The WBO and its president, Francisco Valcarcel, earlier this year ranked dead super middleweight Darrin Morris. The WBO advanced the cadaver into its top six. Then Valcarcel had the gall to plead ignorance of the gruesome mistake once informed of it. We've all known boxing ratings to be suspect, but this guy was a real stiff.

Doc: Dr. Wladimir Klitschko. The intelligent WBO heavyweight champ from the Ukraine really has a doctorate in physical training, and he has played against chessmaster Garry Kasparov. So if Klitschko's so smart, why is he boxing? I suppose he has so much brain power he can afford to risk losing some of it in the ring. So far, though, he hasn't had to worry much. He has dwarfed his competition, and some are starting to disagnose him as the best in the division.

The Magic Mirror: Boxing fans. Why, oh, why don't aging fighters ever listen to us? "Mirror, mirror on the wall, can I still compete at all?" No! Now grab your walker and get the hell out!

Aladdin: Julio Cesar Chavez, for no other reason than he badly needs those three wishes. Wish No. 1: "Please restore my once-considerable dignity." Wish No. 2: "Please erase my monumental financial woes." Wish No. 3: "Please let me stay retired."

Aladdin's Genie: Ricardo Lopez. Somebody unearth the lamp this guy hides in and rub it to get him to come out. Lopez has been a champion since 1990, but he's fought twice in the past 33 months. The reigning IBF junior lightweight champ hasn't had a bout since December.

Mowgli: Tony Ayala Jr. or Diego Corrales. I'm not sure if wolves raised these two dolts, but they sure act like it. Ayala, already a convicted rapist, fought his last bout while wearing an electronic tracking device on his ankle because he will stand trial next week in San Antonio for "burglary with the intent to commit sexual assault." Ayala got shot while allegedly trespassing in a woman's home. Corrales three months ago was sentenced to two years in prison for beating his pregnant wife.

Winnie the Pooh: Hector Camacho Sr. No boxer is more full of it.

Eeyore: Naseem Hamed. Sure, he can hit like a mule, but he looked like a donkey fighter the night Marco Antonio Barrera had him by the tail.

Beauty and the Beast: Tyson and his wife, Dr. Monica Turner. She's an attractive doctor, for crissakes. She should know better.

ESPN.com boxing writer Tim Graham covers boxing for The Buffalo News and The Ring Magazine, and formerly wrote for the Las Vegas Sun.






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