Despite the seeming letdown of Saturday night's fight, it was apparent by the middle rounds that neither guy was gonna beat Lennox Lewis anyway, not without Sir Lewis making at least a movie during training camp. Or perhaps two.

Kirk Johnson, despite being the second-best Canadian heavyweight in the world, keeps his left hand waaaaaaay too low to pose any stern threat to Lewis. And John Ruiz is, well, John Ruiz. In a way, it was sort of a Darwinian victory for Ruiz, whose title-defense-by-DQ makes him the first heavyweight champion to make his first two successful defenses with neither a decision win or knockout to his credit. Winning ugly? That's like saying Roseanne Barr looks "plump" in a g-string.

Kirk Johnson had it in the bag, and instead of making away with said bag, he opened it up for a longing, greedy gaze, and it got away. Who knows what was making him punch to the body, low and often. But he certainly had little trouble reaching Ruiz' head when he decided to use his superior tools. Perhaps Lou Duva can send him to that shrink he should've gotten Andrew Golota so many years ago.

It's a tough blow for the likeable Duvas, who envisioned their new promotional company's first heavyweight champion (okay, so not the linear champ, but hey, neither were the 1969 Jets until AFTER their big chance.like the Colts, Lewis is eventually gonna get old). Instead, the WBA title remains safely ensconced in the Don King stronghold, which means more Evander Holyfield!

Hey, as the mandatory contender, this means we can see Holyfield-Ruiz IV, which should be only slightly more palatable than Rocky VI (in that one, Holyfield is pitted against Rocky, but Burgess Meredith returns from the dead to work Rocky's corner, breaks a late-rounds cut with a silver dollar, Rocky rallies for a decision win, and then the alarm clock rings, you wake up and realize it was all a terrible dream, at least until the cable bill comes and you give it a studious twice-over to make sure your drunk couch-surfing uncle didn't order the bout).

All in all, the closing analogy was deliciously delivered by Larry Merchant, who capped up his postfight interviews with both pugilists (and I use that term loosely) with an analogy about a fan wanting to see Mantle and Mays and who was better, but in the end the wag clowns them and wants to know who is worse. It was the highlight of the broadcast, and ethical points go to HBO for at least admitting when they serve you a burned entrée.

Ruiz definitely got hit with some low blows, but either he has a glass groin or he's the best-paid short film actor in the world. Some of those minute-long pauses he got were a little lengthy, and it lends credence to the theory that he was milking it versus Holyfield when hit borderline as well. Ruiz's overly dramatic reaction to them was so over the top, the Screen Actor's Guild should consider revoking his membership.

The only thing worse than seeing Ruiz go through his routine was the fact that Johnson kept providing a means for him to do it. You wonder if Curtis Cokes goes to bed at night wondering why he gets these talented head cases with all the wrong mental switches to parlay it into a championship. Maybe Duva can send him to the shrink, as well, because after going through the debacle with Ike Ibeabuchi, and now Johnson, Cokes deserves a sympathetic ear. Capable heavyweights are like great loves. You only get a couple of them in this life, and that's if you're damn lucky.

As for Ruiz, his charging, awkward style has sort of a reductionist effect on most opponents facing him, like a point guard that makes all the wrong moves but is so unorthodox he's tough to contain. However, notice how nobody in the Ruiz camp ever mentions David Tua? It's because Tua is one guy you don't want to charge at, that you can't beat wrestling, that you won't want to head butt or give a shoulder to. Ruiz' style will always be perfect for Tua, even if David trains in a Krispy Kreme shop and fights at 300 pounds. Why aren't there calls for revenge on Tua from Norman "Stoney" Stone? Why the constant badgering for a fight with Lewis, whom Stone claims Ruiz dominated in sparring sessions that Manny Steward says never happened? Hey, you used to hear how Henry Tillman kicked Riddick's Bowe's butt in sparring, too.

Maybe Stone is trying to be the fly that Lewis eventually decides to swat away instead of ignoring, but with his stern temperament and the twilight of his career approaching, it's hard to imagine Lewis ever giving Ruiz a chance (chance being a generous term).

In fact, let Ruiz and Holyfield go at it once more. The fight definitely deserves to be on Pay Per View, but in reverse. Let the viewers be paid to endure it. Anybody who can last all 12 rounds of it would make one hell of a night watchman.

On the undercard, Timmy Austin proved why he's such an exciting fighter to watch, and gutty challenger Adan Vargas provided the kind of little man's scrap that makes you want to ignore these big guys that don't deliver. Can King deliver Austin against the bigger foes that are necessary to challenge him? Hopefully something can be made for Timmy soon. It wouldn't be fair for him to be the next Ricardo Lopez in the King stable, a poorly promoted fighter that doesn't get his just recognition.

You could make the argument that Lopez has toiled more than a decade in relative obscurity because there are no name fighters stateside for him to fight. There are no such excuses for anyone managing Austin. His skills are exceptional and he deserves a go with Barrera, Paulie Ayala, or someone of that caliber, and soon. There's also Bones Adams, Rafael Marquez, and a whole bunch of other Bob Arum fighters. Okay, so don't hold your breath....

Pop Quiz: Would you rather see Jim Gray interview Larry Merchant, or Merchant interview Gray? What would be the outcome of each, and why?

Also, isn't it strange that the referee is now interviewed after some boxing matches? This is the only sport where this occurs. After seeing Gray get testy with Elmo Adolph for his work in the Etienne-Botha match, it makes you wonder why all the refs don't pull a "Pete Rose" and simply refuse to talk to Gray, as the major leaguers did. Yes, Gray asks the tough questions, and yes, he leaves no stone unturned (which is preferable to the softball-lobbing interviews that some broadcasters pass off as journalism), but he would probably freak out if he had nobody to flex his microphoned muscles on.

Besides, there is nothing a referee can say that is of any interest in that type of conversation. They're supposed to remain neutral, and they do. It's the worst kind of dead air, and it's needlessly perpetuated. But Gray is no fool. Notice how he smartly interviewed Tyson, post-Savarese and in the throes of his rage, with the ropes between them.

If and when Bernard Hopkins moves to Showtime, I can't wait to see who gets the best of that matchup when Gray foists his microphone in front of the loquacious middleweight champion. He may have met his match when that happens.

Just because I can: James "Hard Rock" Green.